Now before you all start wondering why in the world I would essentially 'force' my child to go to preschool amidst such tears, I had a pretty good hunch it was more of a lazy-morning-I-don't-want-to-get-up-and-go rather than perhaps a possibility of a more serious underlying problem.
You see, several mornings it often seems more trouble than it is worth to get him dressed and out the door at 8:55am. It isn't that I have to wake him up and go, and it isn't even as if he is engaged in something he doesn't want to leave. I don't know what it is, but pretty much every morning at 8:45am we have a discussion about what he would miss out on if he really chose to never go to preschool again.
And then I take him to preschool, he hops out of the car and runs in alone.
And then when I pick him up he comes running out every single time, with his big Joshua smile on his face, and runs into my arms as though he has had the time of his life and as though he hasn't seen me in weeks.
Back to yesterday. Yesterday's trip into preschool wasn't pretty. I passed him over to the teacher's arms just as he stopped crying and I began. I returned to the car, called Mike and cried, and then began imagining myself with two children home all day every day for the rest of the school year.
Mike's advice was "Sure, let him quit. It's preschool."
My thoughts were, "I know it is just preschool, but isn't HE too young to make a big decision that he may change his mind about in two weeks.
When I returned three hours later to pick Joshua up. He was the second one outside. And in true Joshua fashion, his smile spread from ear to ear as he ran into my arms. My eyes got all filled up with tears as all my thoughts and emotions from the past three hours mushed together.
The teacher and I having both talked with Joshua concluded that there is no reason he doesn't like school. No mean kids, no boredom, no problems.
Joshua just happens to really like being with his mother and three hours, twice a week is a long time.
But it is Joshua's decision.
Apparently, tomorrow he wants to go to school.
"And the next day and the next day."
Joshua just happens to really, really like me and the only complaint about preschool I can get is, "It is so so 'wong'" (long). Yet he isn't ready to end his preschool career just yet over missing his mother.
I'm flattered he likes to be around a cranky mother as much as he does. Which is why I took a break from my crankiness to oblige him, and spent a good ten minutes letting him (and Drew) pull faces in front of a camera lens. I didn't even complain after each camera click when he asked, "Can I see it?"
There's more to life than preschool, right?