Sunday, February 27, 2011

Smack Dab in the Middle

Guess I'm on spotlight number three.  Luke and Joshua have had their turns, now it is Ellie's.

Though all of our children are certainly unique, Ellie's personality is a little more unique compared to the others.  There are days she can't help but endear herself to her family members, and there are other days that... well, there are other days...

Ellie loves, loves, LOVES baby dolls.  Our spare bedroom is filled almost entirely with baby dolls, strollers, cribs and all types of baby paraphernalia.  It is no secret that toys strewn from here to kingdom come, gives me a severe case of ruffled feathers.  Yet, for some reason, I have far more patience for the baby dolls, baby clothes, diaper bags, doll bottles and blankets that seem to have a presence in nearly every room, nearly all the time.  I think my patience comes from my own memories of LOVING baby dolls myself and of course knowing, that the days of baby dolls being left lying around are numbered.  With no other girls to follow Ellie, it is a phase, I get teary eyed thinking about soon being over.

Ellie loves her two little brothers.  She is also very normal, and at times can't stand them.  Ellie prides herself on being able to 'babysit' Joshua and Drew and will never let you forget what previous monetary agreement may have been negotiated until payment is received.  Fortunately, her understanding of money value is clearly in my favor...

Ellie is also notorious for papers, markers, papers, pencils, papers, crayons, did I mention papers? Being left in any empty bag and on any empty solid surface.  I can't imagine Ellie ever becoming a 'tree-hugger'.

Beyond, Ellie's dream of growing up and being a mom, her latest desire is, "When I grow up I'm going to be a school teacher and a church teacher."

Ellie is somewhat of a picky eater.  She has home-lunch nearly every day. Periodically, I write notes and put in my kids' lunch boxes.  Usually, Ellie only has school if it is pizza or macaroni and cheese.  I loved her little thinking process that must have thought, "When I have home lunch, mom writes me a note.  When I have school lunch, I write mom a note."  I loved after school recently, that I found sitting on my counter this note:

One of my favorite notes/drawings recently, was this note written by Ellie during church last week:

If you know Ellie, well, you know that Ellie's facial expressions and tone of voice at times clearly scream, "I'm trying to act like a grown-up."  It is so hard to capture them on video and camera.  They are a memory that will really only ever be kept in my mind.  Just the other day, Ellie walked out of our bedroom in her grown-up mode, Mike smiled and turning to me said, "Ellie is so cute."

She really is.
.... most of the time....

Friday, February 25, 2011

The May or May Not Get Used Gift

Luke loves that our neighbor, Kellen, was a rodeo-riding cowboy in his high school days.  Kellen's old horse saddle is kept in his little boy's bedroom...

Luke spent the last two evenings outside in the garage, 'building.'  At one point he even had three drills charged and / or plugged in, ready to be picked up and used at any given moment.  Additionally, he had boxes of screws, and wood in random sizes, lengths and widths surrounding him.

The first evening, I gave him a 'fifteen-more-minutes-until-you're-done-for-the-evening' warning.  His response, "Is that all?  I have at least an hour of hand-sawing."  (Thank heavens he hasn't yet requested use of the power saw!)

I noticed some kind of contraption encroaching on my suburban garage space, but when you've seen so many of his shed and scooter and armoire and roping dummy and trailer and pinewood derby track wood creations, it's easy to turn a blind eye to the hard-to-identify-without-a-description project in progress.

And that is exactly what I did.
Until Luke tells me he has just popped over to Kellen's to borrow his saddle so Luke can see how well it fits on his 'saddle holder.'

My immediate responses:
"Go return the saddle right now, so it doesn't get ruined."
"And why are you making a 'saddle holder' when you don't have a saddle?"

The next night, Luke proudly carried the completed 'saddle holder' over to Kellen's house and asked if he could carry it upstairs to Miles' bedroom.

Kellen tactfully admitted that he wasn't sure if Kari would allow it in the house.  To which Luke replied,

"That's okay.  I don't think my mom would let it in our house either."


Today I was in and out all day.  Numerous times as I approached Kellen and Kari's driveway, I saw the 'saddle holder' still sitting on their front porch.  It certainly isn't aesthetically pleasing, but for the time being at least, it graciously sits there.

And even if the gift will or won't ever be used, everyone agrees, it was a truly, a gift from the heart.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Your Children and My Children

Ever have certain thoughts when somebody else’s child is picking their nose or acting inappropriately?...

I’m not exactly the type of person who would ever desire to run a day care. I shy away from most organized ‘play group’ type children activities. And I can’t ever imagine myself a school teacher. Although neighbor children are always present (and welcome) in our home and babysitting for a friend is often in my schedule, I don’t typically surround myself with too many other children besides my own.

Until recently.
In November, I began a new assignment in my church. I have gone from a two year assignment of spending forty minutes every other week teaching the Bible to adults, to now keeping tabs on 60+ children for two hours each week. It is as different as night and day…

I have seen nose picking, I have seen potty dances, I have seen poor behavior, I have seen tears, I have seen a giant booger stuck to the front of a beautiful dress, I have smelt stinky breath, I have touched sticky, dirty hands, etc. etc. etc.  And I have been doing some quiet reflection.

The last time I was in there, I looked back at my now nine year old boy. He was sitting quietly, contently and focused on the speaker. I thought back to a few years ago, when he was just five years old. Somebody that worked closely with him cornered me at a social gathering one evening and began to list every inappropriate action and comment my son had done or said during his time with her. Nothing was of any serious nature, it was just very typical ‘boy stuff.’ However, the (one-sided) conversation left me feeling very discouraged and honestly, a little bit angry.

As mothers, we owe it to each other to love each other’s children. (And oh boy do I know how difficult that is, I mean heavens above, it is hard enough to like my own children all of the time.) I thought back to a lady who worked closely with my son at the same time as ‘the other lady’, who frequently said to me, “I just love him. He has a personality and he truly loves life.”

Isn’t that a nice way to describe a child who may not always be the perfect-sit-still and listen-to-the teacher-type-kid?

Last week, I removed my focus from my son and looked around the room. I saw YOUR children. Some had their hands pestering their neighbors, and some had their hands quietly in their laps, some children were sitting nicely on their chairs, others were acting like a monkey at the zoo. I was looking at my children and I was looking at your children.
And as a mother, I committed to love them all a little more.
(Now somebody, please quickly pass me the hand sanitizer…)

Monday, February 21, 2011

Cherishing Luke

The other evening, I was part of a discussion with several mothers.  We were discussing the inevitable statements most of us make: "I can't wait until..."  Instead of making "I can't wait until..." statements, we were challenged to CHERISH THE MOMENT!

I will not lie.  Four nights after that discussion, I ran up to my parent's house to get a few things.  With no kids in tow, it was a pretty quick, uncomplicated visit.  As I pulled out of the driveway, pondering the peace and quiet of my parents' home... I couldn't help but think to myself, "I can't wait until...it is just Mike and me home alone..."

But alas, that time is several years away.  And so going back to the discussion I was part of the other night, I will heed the challenge we were issued:  'Record a moment when you really feel the joy of motherhood.'

Of course my children bring me joy.  So, as part of my discussion/follow-up/heed the challenge, I will take the opportunity to highlight each of my children in the same way I did the Random Joshua Thoughts last week.

Today, is Luke's lucky day.

Even though Luke is nine years old, there are a few words he says incorrectly.  I don't correct him.  After all, a few months ago, he finally quit saying "tample" instead of "temple" without any correction from me...

And really, it's all part of the 'cherishing the moment' type thing...it won't last forever!

Luke says 'Albow' instead of elbow and 'mongster' instead of monster

Anyone that either knows Luke, or reads this blog regularly knows, Luke is a pretty unique individual.  His interests are broad, his pursuits diverse, his ideas unrivaled.  We would never in a million years guessed him to love what he loves and be what he is, but I don't think we'd change anything at all.

Things to 'cherish' about Luke:

Luke has broad interests, whether it is something western, crafty, horse-related, or outside, Luke is interested.  He is determined and motivated to get a job done.  He loves to work.  Just this morning, Mike mentioned Luke would need to shovel the driveway and front path before ward (church) choir practice at our home.  Ten minutes later he was shoveling.  Two hours later he returned, when our driveway was done as well as most of the neighbor's driveways.

Even though Luke has a pretty tough exterior, he is a softy at heart.  Of all my kids, I'd say he is certainly the 'Mama's boy.'  Whenever Mike and/or I are gone for an extended period of time, Luke calls us the most.  And while there is usually a 'reason' for his call, the real reason always subtly screams, "I love you, I miss you, I just wanted to talk to you."

Luke does not enjoy homework, being inside or chores, yet he understands our family rule that you 'work before you get paid'. (Paid meaning 'play')  Luke knows what to do, and does it.  In the morning he promptly gets dressed, practices the piano, eats breakfast, brushes his teeth and does his morning chore. As soon as Luke gets home from school he starts his homework, does his after school chores and then disappears outside until dinner.  He rarely wastes anytime arguing or diddly-daddling, it isn't worth wasting his play-time.

Without fail, nearly all of the papers he brings home from school make me smile for one reason or another.  Like this 'How can you help the environment assignment?' that he just had to include his genre; Wrangler and Dodge.

And though he is always eager to go ice fishing, horse-riding, hunting, boating, etc. with his neighbor friend, Paul, it brought tears to my eyes when he brought home this assignment.  Luke's favorite place to be?  Home.


(Of course, just like the rest of us, Luke has plenty of faults too.  But number one, this is not the place to air those, and number two, that falls under the "I can't wait until..." category that I'm supposed to NOT be focusing on!)

The other evening, when we had some friends over, who happen to only have daughters, Luke was not about to be excluded.  While the girls made decorative hair-bows for themselves, Luke had no problem joining in, distributing a hand-made by him, hair bow to both myself and my friend.  (When the hair-bows no longer held his interest, he made leather bracelets for the dads.)  As he presented the hair-bow gift to my friend, she exclaimed, "Luke, you are going to have to watch out.  You are going to be quite the catch one day.  What don't you do?"

I have no doubt that one day, he will end up being a great catch!  A cowboy that can work hard, make hair clips, rope calves, sew pillows, and build sheds is probably a pretty good guy to have around.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Moving a Grill

A couple of weeks ago, while Mike was in the hospital, I returned home one morning to find my barbeque grill had become the victim of the previous night's windstorm.  It was laying on the grass twenty feet from it's home on the patio.  I was talking on the phone to my friend Brandi, and as I began to lift up the barbeque, propane began spewing from the valve.  In a slight moment of panic, Brandi told me to relax, tighten the valve to stop the spewing and just leave the barbeque where it was for now.  I followed her instructions and then added, "I'll text my friend/neighbor and ask him to put the barbeque back on the patio."

Brandi's response startled me, "Oh GOOD Tiffany.  I see you are finally learning a lesson in h-u-m-i-l-i-t-y.  You're going to let somebody serve you!"

Service is an interesting thing for me.  While we are always drilling into people's minds that it is 'More blessed to give than receive', there is obviously a need to be able to receive too.  And I am slowly, but surely grasping that concept too.

The other day I remembered a lady I used to visit teach more than a decade ago.  (Within the LDS church's women's organization (Relief Society), two women form a partnership and are given 'stewardship' to watch over, care and love for three-four other women within the same church boundaries.)  She was pregnant with her first child (so no other children to care for!), and was placed on bed rest.  She requested from the Relief Society President that in addition to having dinners brought into her, she would like breakfast and lunch brought in AND have someone sit with her so she didn't get bored!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fortunately, our Relief Society president was not a people-pleaser.  She told the pregnant lady that she would have dinners brought in, but the rest was up to whatever her friends/neighbors/family WANTED to do, nothing would be specifically assigned.  The Relief Society President even suggested to me that I not take more than two meals to her.

Seriously-I have NEVER forgotten that lady.  No offense, but who asks for that kind of service?
Obviously not me.

As I remember that pregnant lady, who moved from the neighborhood shortly after giving birth, I am well aware that she was an extreme case of 'neediness'.  But really, there is a possibility that people are too extreme in their 'independence.'   I think I fall somewhere in the middle; I like to think I am independent.  I try to steer clear of being considered a 'project'.  And I am fully aware that there are people with far greater needs than my own.

Yet certainly, for me during the last couple of weeks, the meals, child-care, phone-calls, texts, hugs, etc. have really meant something.

And it isn't the 'Call me if you need something' people it is the:

"Bring your boys over at 10am." or "Here is a meal, put it in your freezer." or "I'm bringing dinner on Tuesday." or "Go home and be with your family, we'll take care of this."  or "Here's dinner, hope you enjoy it." or "Here's a dessert, you deserve it."

I am finally learning the importance of  receiving service, which I am beginning  to believe is every bit as important as giving service.

I am trying to replace my initial reaction that always wants to say, "You don't need to." with "Thank you. You are very kind."

And, I am going to take the advice of my drugged up husband who said one day while in the hospital,

"Who are you to deny them the blessings of service?"

Drugs or not.
Mike was right.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Random Joshua Thoughts

Mike and I were recently remembering a phrase Luke used for everything when he was about three years old.  "Pump down" or "Pumping it down" or "Make it pump down" or some varied form of the words was used to describe anything from a sprinkler spraying, to the tub water emptying or putting gas in a car.  Shortly after Mike and I laughed at the memory the other night, in true Tiffany fashion,  I began to worry that I adequately recorded somewhere Luke's "Pump Down" phrases.

And so to prevent any future worry of whether or not I recorded Joshua's unique phrases, I've gotta get it done now.


I love Joshua's use of the language. I love that he doesn't sound his 'L's' or 'R's' or 'Y's' properly and I love that he has funny pronunciations of things:

"We have a 'SKAprise' for you." (surprise)
"I'm getting in the SKAburban." (suburban)
"I will put it in the "gers" room.  (girls)

I love that when we were at Costco a couple of weeks ago Joshua asked, "Can I get a churro at the Food Inception."  And then later at a different store, "Can we look at the toy inception?"  (I'm assuming he's attempting to use the word 'section.')

Joshua loves his Wranglers.  Unfortunately, he only has one pair.  I let him wear them for two days before I insist on washing them.  On the third day, he wears his pajamas.  If his Wranglers aren't available, nothing else is good enough.

For the most part, I love Joshua's questions.
The other day:
"What would happen if there was no sky?"
"I don't know Joshua," I replied.  "What do you think?"
"I learned about it in Primary last time, but I don't remember."

I was very impressed with Joshua's wisdom today when he said, "Lots of people call me 'Josh'.  You should have called me 'Josh' when I was a baby and then people would call me 'Joshua' now when I am big."

Lately, Joshua is frequently lamenting the lack of buttons...

While seeing a Walmart toy ad on the computer screen:
"I wish there was a button on the computer and Woody and Buzz toys came out."

While waiting patiently for me to help him with his coat the other day:
"I wish there was a button on my coat and it zipped it up."

While getting tired on a bike ride last week:
"I wish there was a button that made the handles come up high and you didn't have to hold on."

Currently, Joshua loves, loves, loves the Toy Story characters.  As we don't have too much exposure to television/movie characters around here, this is the first time we have had a child so enamored with a 'character.'  (Barney coming to Megan's 2nd birthday party was mostly my love affair with Barney, not hers...)  

Joshua's love affair began back in the fall with the neighbor's Woody Doll.  Of course there is no doubt it was Woody's cowboy persona that drew Joshua in.  Between Santa's delivery of a couple of Woody dolls, a purchase last month made in a weak parenting moment of a very overpriced Toy Story set, and a bargain Toy Story 3 DVD, Joshua LOVES Toy Story 3, specifically, Woody and Jesse.

The over-priced, but under-quality Jessie doll from the set has already had one visit to Daddy's Super Glue Hospital to have her broken head fixed, and is now currently laying on Daddy's bedside table awaiting her broken leg to be fixed.  Joshua recently dubbed Jessie as his 'ger-friend'.

And though there was a very brief moment today that I wondered what it was exactly that I love about Joshua, I couldn't help but recall earlier in the day, while helping Joshua with the button on his Wranglers he said, "You are the best Mom in the whole big world."

Monday, February 14, 2011

Honest Love

I have spent LOTS of time with my husband over the past (almost) two weeks.  And though of course I TRULY love him, man alive am I exhausted from playing nurse.  Nonetheless, here are a few thoughts for my Valentine...

(And to clarify now, so some of these make sense later... Mike had major back surgery.  In order to allow the bone grafts (made up of some of his hip bone, cadaver bone and discs ) to fuse properly he can not bend, lift or twist, or walk/be up for longer than five minutes 4-5 times a day.)

I LOVE that I have assisted with very little homework and signed very few school papers the past week.  That is now Mike's job.  I'm quite giddy with the extra time to myself come mid-afternoon.  Ok, that is a slight exaggeration, there is no extra time to myself come mid-afternoon, but I do like that homework is temporarily not part of my mid-afternoon routine.

I love the little things I have learned from my husband....Like he has to have between his toes dried when he gets out of the shower.  Who dries between their toes??  I never have, but I lovingly do for him what he can't do for himself.  I bend down and dry in between EACH of his toes.  (Actually,  it isn't always lovingly, after all, it isn't as though I have nothing better to do!)

The past couple of weeks since Mike's surgery have shown me even more than I already knew, how much Mike really, really does for our house, family, kids, etc.  I miss his efforts.  But last night, I loved his efforts.... I went to bed with a migraine and was pretty dead to the world before 9pm.  I did not hear Joshua wake up crying in the night--I didn't wake up until Mike came back to the bedroom and was attempting to change his underwear....  Mike then informed me that Joshua had just peeed on him while Mike was comforting/holding him on his bed.  Mike declined my offer to let me help him get dressed, and instead politely used the 'get dressed tools' from the hospital, and let me fall back asleep.

Having Mike home all day every day for going on ten days now, I am realizing just how much I talk to myself!   The first few days were spent with Mike asking, "What did you say?" or "I can't hear you."  After repeatedly having to admit, "I'm talking to myself,"  instead of calling me crazy, Mike kindly said, "You talk to yourself a lot."

During Mike's allotted exercise time.  I love that he invites Drew to walk with him as he laps the downstairs and thus keeps Drew occupied and out of mischief for five minutes...
(Yes, I am well aware that those are some pretty ugly 'Mountain Dew' pajama pants he's wearing...)

I love that a lot of my housework is falling by the wayside.  I really do.  After Mike quit the pain meds after the fourth day home, he is awake, alert, coherent and thus... getting a little stir-crazy.  I spend too many lazy minutes simply laying by Mike's side in bed, or in the chair next to the bed chatting.  A (hopefully) once in a lifetime opportunity, we really don't want to let pass us by.

And if you can believe this, when I am finished going to the bathroom, I put the toilet seat up, so he doesn't have to bend at all to put the seat up when he needs to go.  Ahh-nothing like true love.

Happy Heart Day All!

PS-If you're interested in what my mother thinks of Mike despite being mooned by him once (or twice), you can read about it here.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Freezing The Toddler

A couple of weeks ago, Drew grew out of his first real pair of shoes.  A little size 5 pair of tan tennis shoes he has had since August.  I didn't quite know what to do with them.  Sentimentality prevented me from putting them in the Deseret Industries (local charity) pile, yet reason prevented me from putting them in my cedar chest (with too many other outgrown clothes I just can't seem to part with for one reason or another...)  Instead the little outgrown shoes sat on a bench in the garage awaiting their fate.

On a recent Saturday afternoon, I passed the little brown tennis shoes as I made my way to the car with a bag of things for the DI.  As I loaded the bag into the back of the car, I pondered out loud, "Should I keep Drew's old shoes or not?"  Mike from the driver's seat loudly stated a bold, "NO" before I was even finished with the question.  As Megan turned around to look at me, she said wisely, "Think about some little boy wearing them who might really need them."

And so tossing aside all my DI opinions (I really should air those one day...), I grabbed the nearby shoes that have carried Drew's little feet for months and tossed them into the back of the suburban.  Realizing there are plenty of memories I can keep that don't collect dust, or take up room in the already-hard-to-close cedar chest.

This afternoon, I watched Drew snuggle up with Mike and I verbalized out loud the stark realization, "My baby is almost TWO! TWO YEARS OLD!"  Mike absolutely loves the 2-4 age range, and so he answered, "Can't wait!"
It left me with mixed feelings.

Though I love the ease in which day to day life carries on without a little baby around,  I certainly have mixed feelings with each passing day, as my life gets further away from the baby stage.

My baby is almost TWO!
Where has/is the time going?
Freeze time freeze!


Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Clearing My Mind

Street Corners-It is that dreaded time of year again.  When a busy intersection seems to warrant fools dressed as the Statue of Liberty or Uncle Sam trying to appeal to me to give them my tax business.  And two years later, I still have the same thoughts.  I feel like I will lose the blood flow in my  hands from gripping the steering wheel so tightly to refrain from doing something with my hands that I never do, yet every year these people bring out that desire in me.  I don't know what causes it.  But it clearly, irritates me. Really, does a person dressed up as Uncle Sam or The Statue of Liberty really attract business?


Flowers--Last Tuesday morning, before Mike was due at the hospital for his surgery, he ran over to our friend's house to see if Kari was home.  She wasn't and he seemed kind of bummed.  As 'luck' would have it, we had to turn around after a few blocks because we had forgotten something and as we pulled into our cul-de-sac, Kari was pulling into her driveway.  While I ran and retrieved the forgotten item, he spoke with Kari.  I quizzed him about the conversation, and then I completely forgot it...  Until, Friday afternoon, when Kari and Kellen brought us dinner.  Kari walked in carrying a beautiful vase of flowers and announced, "They are from Mike."  How thoughtful is that!?  Guess he remembered the long summer I spent taking care of him and his broken foot...  How can I get too irritated at his helplessness when every time I enter the kitchen I see the beautiful bouquet on my table?  I heart my husband!

(Answer to this question, How can I get too irritated at his helplessness when every time I enter the kitchen I see the beautiful bouquet on my table? Even with the beautiful flowers sitting on the table, After getting Mike his 57th drink of the day, or giving the 78th dose of medicine or helping him dress/undress for the 43rd time, it is very easy to say, "In a few weeks, you're going to owe me BIG TIME!")

Sweats-Remember my 'Fashion Loser' post a couple of years ago?  Well ever since having Drew, I reduced my wearing of sweats to only once a week.  And if you can believe it, I sometimes even skip that small allowance!  Well. Somehow after spending last week sitting in a hospital room, and then the last few days staying close to home, playing nurse, my love of sweats has been reignited.   Yesterday? The day I did actually get 'dressed up?'  I had my sweats back on by 4:15pm.  It is evenings like that, that I miss my summer house-dress.  Do they make more winter-like house-dresses...

Temples--Within the LDS church, temples are very important buildings to us.  As LDS people, we believe that they are the Lord's house and what happens inside of the temples is of an eternal nature and binds families together FOREVER.  There are LDS members throughout the world that live very far distances from temples, and make grand sacrifices to attend even once.  Here in Utah, we are blessed to have many within a close proximity to our house.  Joshua has a little board book about Temples.  It is one of his favorites to have read to him, one of the pages reads, "Is there a temple near you?"  Each time I read that line he says, "No."  Though, from Joshua's bedroom window, we can see the temple that is less than ten miles away, to Joshua "It is not by our house, it is by Jonah's house." (his friend)  It makes me want to laugh and cry all at the same time.  Laugh because of his innocence and cry because he has no idea how truly blessed he is.

HOMEMADE Rice Krispie Treats-I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE them.  Like I can eat a whole pan of them LOVE.  In fact, next time somebody says, "What can I do to help you?"  I'm going to tell them to bring ME some Rice Krispie Treats!!  Pure solace for the soul.

People-For the past six weeks or so, it seems I am very easily irritated with mild infractions of behaviors and/or personalities.  It seems for a while now everything and everyone has been making me crazy.  (Of course, I'm not referring to you.) I have felt the need to show greater kindness and compassion to the acquaintances, strangers, neighbors, and people around me.  And though I have felt the need, doesn't mean I have actually done it.  Recently, while driving with Mike I innocently mentioned that it had been a while since we had seen some particular friends.  His response, "It probably has something to do with their membership?"  "What are you talking about?!" I immediately demanded.  His reply: "Their membership in the human race.  Doesn't it seem you have a problem with nearly every member of the human race lately?"  I think I was speechless.  And that doesn't happen very often at all.

I'm working on it.

The End.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Capturing The Moment

"I'm going to keep this forever and ever." exclaimed Joshua recently while holding a newly found stick along the walking trail.  And of course I knew he wouldn't.  I knew within a few hours the stick would be long gone.  And not just the stick, probably to Joshua, the thought of it too.

The innocence in Joshua's voice and the excitement in his eyes as he passionately exclaimed, "I'm going to keep this forever and ever" was enough to make me tear up. I wanted a still picture of the moment. I wanted a video of the moment. And I wanted an eloquently worded essay about the moment.
But I knew I would have none.
Instead, I just enjoyed the moment and continued on the walk.

Though I have always been an avid journal writer, frequent blogger and camera grabber, I am beginning to realize that there are SO MANY moments that I commit to want to 'keep forever and ever' yet it is next to impossible to do.

I can't capture everything!

(Yes. That is a booger stuck on Joshua's teeth!)

As I mentioned before, last week my computer crashed.  Everything was gone.  Fortunately, I still have everything up until December 2010.   But as for 2010...what photos or writings weren't put on my blog or Power of Moms, I have lost.  (I know, I know-I will now join the technological world and BACK THINGS UP.)  (Thank heavens for my blog!)


(Yes. Drew may still have a bottle when he is in Kindergarten. Oh well.)

And so I go back to Joshua and the stick that he was going to 'keep forever and ever.'  He didn't.  I'm not sure it even made it home from the walk.  But the lesson Joshua taught me has stayed with me.  As much as I  want to remember everything.
I won't.
And that is ok.
I am trying to live in the moment more.
I can't capture EVERYTHING.
Sometimes I just have to enjoy it.

Friday, February 4, 2011

It's All Relative

The other morning I was a little overwhelmed and shedding a few tears about feeling like I have to be here, there and everywhere all at the same time.  While crying and talking with a dear friend, I said, "I have no business crying, things could be so much worse."  My wise, wise friend said, "Things can always be worse.  And just because you know that, does not diminish something being hard for you right now."

It made me feel lots better.

Still, I really have no room to complain, when I have three close friends whose husbands are in far worse physical health situations.  We have been blessed with great friends, great family and loving phone calls, texts and thoughts of love and prayers.   Mike has a long road ahead still following such a major surgery, but we'll just take it one day at a time.

And...if
He can keep his oxygen levels up on his own today, and quit throwing up from pain meds, he may just be able to come home today!  It's been a looonnnggg week.
Fingers crossed...
xx

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Winter Blues?

If you've got a little of the Winter blues and need a reason to smile...
When I returned home at 9:15am from working my shift at the temple last Saturday morning, this is what I saw:


(Luke. Saturday morning, just having finished his toast while watching a video with Megan on the computer.)
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