Thursday, August 1, 2013

Shower Punks

I remember one of the first few days home from the hospital with Megan as a newborn, Mike had gone off to work, and I needed to shower. A shower?! I may or may not have had a post-partum hormonal breakdown wondering how in the world I was supposed to shower with a newborn in the next room. What if she cried and screamed the whole time I was shampooing and conditioning and I didn't know it? What if someone walked into the house and took her? What if I passed out in the shower, and she was left alone for hours until I came to?

Fast forward 3 years. The first day home alone with Luke as a newborn and now a 3 year old. A shower? I may or may not have had a more intense post-partum hormonal breakdown than the one three years previously. What if Megan bonked the baby on the head? What if she feeds him crackers and he chokes? What if Megan decides she is the mother and carries Luke across the room? (In my defense, that was a realistic concern.)

In an effort to keep Luke safe, for the first few days of Luke's life, I locked Megan in the bathroom with me while I showered.

It was nice of me to make a deliberate, conscious effort to keep Luke safe during my showers wasn't it? Luke should be eternally grateful to me that while I showered, he was never fed crackers, bonked on the head, or carried across the room by a 3 year old.

I was reminded of my vigilant efforts to keep Luke safe as a newborn, just yesterday morning... When I got out of the shower and discovered this happening on my front porch.

Yes, that would be a completely shaved head with a mohawk down the middle on my little 6 year old.

You'll notice in the above photo Drew has not yet fallen victim to Luke's use of Mike's clippers. Somehow, Luke interpreted my  in-control reaction, and thoughts of "Smile, it will grow back" and "He'll turn it into a complete buzz any minute" instead of a more expected"What the $#@! are you thinking?" thought as, "Hmmm. Mom must approve. I'll do Drew's next."

(Remind me next time to stick with my more expected reactions.)

I don't like mohawks.
I think my boys look like punks.
I don't think this is a good way for Luke to show gratitude for my efforts to keep him safe as a newborn.
Summer vacation is obviously wearing me down, as I have shockingly (to me) announced the boys can keep their awful haircuts until Saturday when Megan returns from girls camp.
Gathering all my children nearby while I shower, to ensure all of their well-being and safety is not an option. Therefore, very short showers have now been deemed a necessity until the start of the school year, when it is only Drew alone I will have to worry about.

 I don't like mohawks.


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