Friday, August 30, 2013

Sitting Around

(Photo completely unrelated to this post, but after reading it you might find a subliminal reasoning for using this particular photo. Besides, Mike gets disappointed when there isn't a photo with a post.)

Last week, Mike and I got into a doozy of an argument. I'll sum it up by telling you this much, Mike eventually reached a point he was really mad at me. (I can count on one hand he's ever been that mad.) To which I replied, "I'm just trying to make a point." To which he then replied, "Oh, you're making it alright."

I continued "making my point" and he continued being mad at me for longer than either of us needed to engage in such drollness.

Blah, blah, blah, the details don't really matter, but this part does.

A dinner meeting with some business associates.
Some pretty hefty business talk.
One comment made by someone referring to his wife who works a job away from home, and said, "She wouldn't want to just sit around."
To which I replied, "Not sure any stay at home mother does "just sit around."
I may or may not have ended the dinner appointment with a pretty stinky attitude, and Mike may or may not have been slightly embarrassed of my sudden change of attitude toward said dinner companions.

And then mine and Mike's next few days went rapidly downhill.
Not because Mike does or doesn't think I "sit around", but because I chose to take offense by the guys comment, when no offense was meant.

It wasn't that I was offended per se, I just have a passion (and protection) for mothers.
All mothers.

Today I'm talking about those that stay home and have no outside employment.

We don't "sit around".

I honestly don't care if women choose to work, or need to work to help provide financially. What I do care about is when people (I've heard it more times than I'd like), make comments like, "Would get bored at home" or "Wouldn't want to sit around" or "Want to be actually doing something." (Those are all exact words I have had said to me over the years by people I know.)

Now. Perhaps some mothers would feel bored, or feel like they are sitting around, or feel as though they are not doing something if they don't have paid employment. That is very fair to say-just as some don't feel as fulfilled by motherhood in and of itself as some do. Fine by me. Just don't assume that those of us that do stay home fit that same criteria.

We're all different. And though "words are just words" they can totally set me off.

I am rarely bored, I never "sit around" and I am pretty much always doing something.

Mike and I have made the decision to go without a lot of "extra" things and have me stay home. I will absolutely admit there are afternoons I may sit outside on a chair and read a book, but I wouldn't classify that as "sitting around." If my child starts throwing up that night, I'm the one that will likely be holding the ponytail as vomit falls into the toilet, and if a child has a bad dream, I am most often the one to go help. Not that Mike doesn't do those things, but we've always had the arrangement that if there is a sleepless night, I can be more sluggish the next day than he can. (Laundry can wait. Business deadlines can not.)

As for wanting to be doing something. I do quite a bit BECAUSE I don't have a job to go to. I volunteer at the school, write articles for various web-sites, take cookies to the bus-stop, involve myself with Power of Moms stuff, etc. etc. All things I would likely not be able to fit in, were I to fit in 20-40 hours a week for paid employment.

As for being bored?
Don't get me started on that.
MAYBE I got bored once in a while earlier on in my career when I had one child and not enough personal interests. Boredom now seems like a desirable, yet elusive reward I will likely never attain.

That's all.
Rant over.

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