Leave Me Alone

"When you are exasperated by interruptions, try to remember that their very frequency may indicate the value of your life. Only people who are full of help and strength are burdened by other persons needs. The interruptions which we chafe at are the credentials of our indispensability. The greatest condemnation that anybody could incur - and it is a danger to guard against - is to be so independent, so unhelpful, that nobody ever interrupts us, and we are left comfortably alone."

-Reverend Canon Hughes

I've had this quote hanging in my kitchen for a couple of months now.  Some days it serves very well to pep myself up about the constant interruptions, which really means I am important and all that good stuff.

But then there are other days, I can't help but day-dream about how glorious it really would be, to be left comfortably alone.

Alas, I am a mother of five young children and wife to a husband who has been home laying in bed for over a month.
I don't know what alone means.

N.O. spells NO

A month or so ago I was asked by an acquaintance if I would be interested in spear-heading a community service project.  I told her to give me a couple of days to think about it.  As soon as I hung up the phone, I just wasn't 'feeling it'.  I very carefully weighed the pros and cons.  I thought about other responsibilities I currently have, and those responsibilities that I might have in a few months when the time for the service project came.  I thought of this. I thought of that.  I prayed and I talked with my husband, but mostly I just thought about it.

Sooner than I had promised her, I called her back.  With confidence and security in my decision, I thanked her for considering me for the position, and then told her I was choosing not to accept the task.  I hung up the phone with absolutely no feelings of guilt. I knew I had made the right decision for me (and my family).

Last night I had a similar discussion with Megan, my twelve year old...

We are not too involved in extra-curricular activities around here.  Mike and I both have very strong feelings about this.  Our family finances, dinner-times, and children having time to play creatively are of up-most importance to us.

And yet still, even with our 'non-over-scheduled-schedule' I had to have a 'being able to say no' discussion with my twelve year old.  And it had nothing to do with the 'Just Say No' drug campaign! ;)

By the time Megan gets home from school each day it is almost 4:00pm.  Of course there is homework (don't EVEN get me started on my homework opinions), then there is any research that might need to be done for upcoming reports, reviewing spelling test lists, or science fair projects, and of course fit in thirty minutes of the required a night reading.  That's just school.

Let's throw in a chore or two, some musical practice (thank heavens she practices some in the morning), dinner with the family (non-negotiable around here), and some personal or friend time.

Okay, we haven't even mentioned time to work on her personal progress (an LDS teenage girl program), or the assignment to work on for a stake youth fireside, or the district spelling bee she qualified for, that happens to fall on the same night as an honors meeting for next year's junior high students. And that still isn't all of it, but you get the idea.

I know, I know, it is all about Good, Better, Best.  But what do you say no to?  Church meetings? School projects? Family time?

We hear so much about PARENT'S over-scheduling their kids now days, but it isn't just the parents to blame.  It comes from school; example, regular homework assignments the same week as science fair projects.  church; example, young women sports nights as well as a regular young women activity in the same week.  (Incidentally, my friend's stake DOES NOT allow two youth activities in one week.  If they're going to the temple for baptisms, no mutual.  If it is youth sports, no mutual.... I LIKE THAT!)

And I KNOW, KNOW, KNOW, ultimately it all comes down to the choice of our little family.  But really, what part do you really cut out? Education? Religion?

On Sunday night, Megan and I talked about what she has to do this week. And it really isn't an out of the ordinary week.   I asked how she felt about what she had to do.  Then I gave her the option of eliminating any of the items from her week.  I let her make her decision.  I kept quiet. (please don't act surprised, i do have some parenting skills).  Megan chose to eliminate the district spelling bee.

And though I sent the email to the Spelling Bee in-charge-teacher, with slight trepidation for how the teacher may respond, far outweighing the slight trepidation, were two other things.  The confidence, that it is the right decision for Megan.  And the satisfaction, that hopefully, saying no sometimes, will be a positive lesson learned for Megan.

You can't do it all.
A very valuable lesson to learn.

To Write Or Not

There are days I consider packing in the blog, and relying more heavily on my personal journal and a good old fashioned photo album.

But, alas, I have not yet given it in.  I love the ease and speed in which I can record a memory, a moment or a thought.

Blogging is a very interesting phenomenon--and though, I myself read a fair number of blogs, I have a few blogging pet-peeves.

Why do I write?  To record my thoughts, feelings and memories, or for others to read, or both!?  I would be lying if I didn't say, I love receiving kind thoughts, compliments and comments, but that isn't the reason I write.  I don't have a blog to see how many followers or readers I can generate.  And though, I do enjoy reading the comments I receive, I do occasionally consider turning off the comment option.  Several people frequently Facebook, email or text me comments for them to be more private, I love receiving them all.  I write for me, and though I am THRILLED people care to read what I write, I don't write merely for the feedback.

I don't love the anonymity that the world wide web offers.  Whether it is blog comments or comments on newspaper articles, news stories, etc. I think anonymity goes hand in hand with cowardness.  The things people spout off all in the name of anonymity are hard to take seriously.  If you have something to say, you should be able to stand behind it.  Otherwise, I think you lose a lot of credibility.

Though blogs, certainly count as a journal, they should by no means take the place of my personal journal.  Whether a blog is private or public, there are some things that shouldn't be written for anyone but you to see. Enough said.

There seems to be such a pretense of 'life is all good' that springs forth from many blogs.  No one's life is perfect, no one's life is magical, and no one's life is without problems.  I don't want to ever paint an inaccurate picture of what my life is like.  I do my very best to balance the reality of my life without crossing the line into problems or situations that really don't have a place in such a public forum.

When somebody tells me my life 'seems charmed' or 'I want my family  to be like yours when I grow up' I wonder if I am painting an inaccurate portrayal of my life.  I slam doors, I throw books and I raise my voice.   My toilets have dried pee on them, my floor hasn't been mopped in a few weeks, I could write a love note in the dust on my bedroom dresser and my children have many less than desirable qualities.  But then again, I am a realist.  I see through most 'life looks perfect' on the outside of others, and assume too often people do the same to me.  But too many (women in particular) don't, and it does a disservice to us ALL.

Our life is FAR from perfect.  I hope I accurately portray that.

But for now, I'll keep on blogging.  I love uploading a picture, typing a few sentences and VOILA- having a record of my people.  And having that record, combined with my love of writing, is really why I continue to do this.  And if a few people enjoy it along the way, then it's probably worth it!

PS-Just to clarify--On my four recommendations on my 'Record of My People' post, they were recommendations.  I did not and have not ever, ever, claimed to have mastered any of them.  Therefore there is no hypocrisy involved.  Just sayin'!

Always the First

Megan's turn!

I remember distinctly the exact location I was at in a busy American Fork intersection, when I realized my life would never again be the same.  Megan was about two weeks old and was snuggled quietly in her carefully chosen navy blue plaid car seat in back of me.  As the light turned and I came to a stop, I heard the what were becoming familiar, newborn sounds coming from the backseat.   I vividly recall the post-partum blues feeling that thought, "Aagh-When will I ever be alone again?"

Now, here I am almost twelve and a half years later!

Even without any post-partum blues, I still find myself asking, "Aagh-When will I ever be alone again?"  Though I have never found an acceptable answer to my question, I ask the question now with a much clearer mind.  For that, I have Megan to thank.

Motherhood really isn't so bad.  And Megan, must not have been too bad of a baby and/or toddler, or we surely wouldn't have done it four more times.

Megan is pretty much the ideal first-born.  She's all those things you hope a first-born will be.  (She's also some not-so-pleasant-other stuff, but today that's neither here nor there!)

I love that when Megan comes home from places, I never have to ask her if she said, 'Please' and 'Thank you'.  I never have to worry that she treated others kindly.

I love that Megan shows an array of emotions in any given day.  Okay, so maybe I don't always exactly love it, but she's a girl--an almost teenage one at that, and so I simply embrace the the opportunity to learn more patience.  (I think that sentence sounds like I have better mothering skills than saying, "Some days I want to scream and yell at her, but I refrain.)

Megan picks and chooses what she wants to do, when she wants to do it.  She is the queen of distraction and diddle-daddling.  Qualities that are both endearing and disenchanting all at the same time.

One of my favorite things I love about Megan is how conscious she is of my mothering.  From her quip back as a nine year old at a local parade when the Mother of the Year float passed by, when she turned and said, "You'll never be that, huh, Mom?" to just yesterday when she said, "You could be a better Mom.  You could be a worse Mom."  Then when I jokingly said, "I could be better?"  She said, "Well, maybe not."  (I assured her of course we can ALL be better!)

(She also in true Megan, politeness said, "I notice you don't swear as much as you used to." So of course, in true Tiffany, realness said, "Well that's a d^#@ good thing isn't it?")

Recently, Megan and one other student qualified to represent her class at the school spelling bee.  She was not too thrilled, but we put it on the calendar.  And then nobody bothered to look at the calendar,  until the night before at 9:45pm Megan came into our room and loudly proclaimed, "Tomorrow is the spelling bee, I haven't even looked at the list."

Megan looked at the list for five minutes in class the next day.  Apparently, Megan looked down at me as they announced her 'Second place win' and in Megan's words I quote, "Both your hands were on your cheeks and you were mouthing the words, ..." Ok, well I don't need to say she guessed correctly thinks I said."

Similarly, a few days later, the phone call went the same way as the aforementioned 'spelling bee mouthed surprise' when she called me to tell me she won the school science fair!  So off she had to go to the District Science Fair a couple of weeks later.  Megan opted to skip the 'District Science Fair Award Ceremony' because, really aren't Science Fair winners supposed to be kids that actually enjoyed doing their projects?  Guess not, as the morning after the District Award Ceremony, I get a phone call from Megan at school saying, "Mom, you aren't going to believe what I'm going to say!" "I got third place at the district fair."

That's just kind of how Megan does things.
Except for keeping her closet floor clean.  I'm not quite sure she'd be in the running for an award for that.
Oh well.  Probably a good thing,  otherwise she'd almost be perfect.

Well, except for going to bed at night without visiting our bedroom 5,439 times first.
So I guess we'll surmise, that even if Megan is not exactly perfect, she's pretty darn decent.

A Record Of My People

The other morning before school, Luke read us the story of Enos from the Book of Mormon.  Who knows exactly who was listening as I'm pretty sure someone was throwing a temper tantrum, someone was still looking for their shoes, and someone was vrmming a car along the floor.  You know, the typical morning routine...

Luke obviously had more faith in everybody's attention span.  His Family Home Evening lesson that night was "a game about the story of Enos to see what you learned this morning."

After the first question, he decided to re-read the story.  As he read about Enos praying that the 'Lord would preserve the records' I interrupted him and took a moment to share some thoughts dear to my heart.

I shared briefly with my family, my love for journal writing that began as a young child.  From prophets of old, to prophets now, we are encouraged to record our thoughts, memories and personal histories.  I consider my blog, my camera and my photo albums and my volumes of personal journals, a modern-day 'record of my people.'    (Why aren't ALL the commandments so easy for me to obey?)

Which let me digress for just a moment--
For Luke's Family Home Evening game, he had us all sit lined up on the kitchen chairs.  As we sat there lined up watching Luke, I felt such joy in being with my little family.  I asked Luke to take a picture.  No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get it not blurry.  And look at us!!!! Mike in his robe with socks and flip-flops, Megan in a green shirt  with purple sweats (I PROMISE SHE DID NOT WEAR THAT OUTFIT TO SCHOOL!), and me comfy and cozy in my jammies.

So after all the blurry ones, I decided to set the camera on timer.  You can see how well that one went... Mike (with his eyes shut no less) clearly giving Joshua a 'counting warning.' and I didn't even make it in the shot before it went off. (Luke was off writing out a certificate for the winner.) This is our life. I LOVE IT.

And so, it brings me to today.  My dear friend Lesley, recently 'tagged' me on a blog post.  And my first thought was, "Oh no, do I have to?"  Love you Lesley ;)  

I thought about her blog tag this morning, and I realized what a perfect way to record some everyday stuff about me!  Even though some of the details may not be significant or of any importance in the grand scheme of things, they are about me.
Now.
And one day I (and generations to follow) may enjoy looking back and reading it.  And that my friends, is exactly what our personal records are for.
So, here you have it:

four places I go
1. the elementary school
2. grocery shopping
3. neighbor's house (usually to find my children and / or husband that seem to always migrate there)
4. exercising with my friend

four favorite smells
1. aroma of flowers in the air in the summer (especially petunias from people's gardens/pots)
2. sweet pea lotion/gel from Bath & Body
3. drew lotioned up after his tub
4. coming in the door to dinner cooking

four favorite TV shows/movies
1. i don't really watch any shows now except the news
2. but I used to love Beverly Hills 90210
3. once a year I 'make' Mike watch 'The Notebook' with me
4. i sometimes listen with half an ear (while I read) on Saturday nights when Mike watches 48 Hour Mystery

four recommendations
1. don't ever feel obligated
2. if you have 'an issue' with someone, do your best to resolve it
3. don't diet
4. give compliments

And instead of 'tagging' others, I'll just encourage us all to be good 'record keepers of our people.'

Happy Thursday! (Incidentally-Thursday has always been my favorite day of the week!)

Loving Them All

Contrary to my BFF, I love all the months of the year, all the seasons, all the weathers, and so on.
This morning as I said goodbye to my kids at the front door, the sky was a clear, bright blue and the sun was shining. And though the temperatures are still not quite warm, without a doubt, it was obvious Spring is in the air. I said aloud to my kids, "Just look at that sky. That is certainly a March 1st kind of sky."

(I see these mountains all day, every day from my kitchen window. I love them.)

This morning I went on a late morning walk by myself, I had to remove my sweatshirt mid-way, it is a pleasant contrast to the layers my friend, Lori and I have had to wear while exercising for the last couple of months.  I continued to enjoy the clear blue sky, this time focusing on the stark white contrast of snowy mountain peaks (remember I'm trying to capture the beauties more).  I felt sheer exhilaration as I anticipated the sunny days of Spring.  I can't wait to see bulbs poking through the dirt, rows of vegetables planted neatly in a row, my Flowering Plum shrubs with their delicate pink blooms, and my Flowering Pear tree with it's stunning white blossoms.

As I began to think, 'Spring is my favorite', I realized that wouldn't be accurate.

I love every month and every season.
I love March.  I love that no matter the temperatures, simply because my calendar is turned to March, I know Spring is almost here.

I love April.  I love the bulbs that have finally bloomed. I love Easter.  I love light in the evenings. I love my anniversary. I love spring showers.

I love May.  I love the anticipation of school ending soon. I love planting a garden. I love planting flowers in my pots.  I love seeing the proof that my perennials survived another dreary winter.

I love June. I love the last day of school.  I love the newness of lazy summer days. I love celebrating the Summer Solstice. I love the snow that is all of a sudden gone from the mountain tops.

I love July. I love Independence Day. I love pioneer heritage celebrations.   I love barbeques.  I love neighbors outside talking on warm evenings.  I love my flower garden in full bloom.

I love August. I love the anticipation of school starting again.  I love knowing lazy summer days will end.   I love buying school supplies.  I love fresh produce from my vegetable garden.

I love September. I love the newness and re-commitment a new school year brings.  I love the cooler temperatures that are welcomed after a hot summer. I love evening walks. I love family bike rides.

I love October. I love my birthday.  I love the fall colors.  I love pumpkins decorating front porches.  I love the end of having to care for a vegetable garden.  I love my Black-Eyed Susans that out-bloom every other flower in the garden.

I love November. I love Thanksgiving. I love the time change that brings dark evenings.  I love the excitement of Christmas that is in the air.  I love the putting away of outside things in anticipation of winter.

I love December. I love the snowstorms when I have nowhere to go. I love the smell of my Christmas tree. I love seeing well-done Christmas lights.  I love turning lights on in the early evening.

I love January. I love feeling cozy at home on hazy, smoggy days.  I love the feeling of newness a new year offers.  That's about all I love about January.

I love February. I love that spring is right around the corner. I love the odd day of mild temperatures.  I love there are only 28 (sometimes 29) days in the month.

And now we are back to March.
I love and appreciate it all.
Of course I favor some more than others.
But you will RARELY hear me complain about the weather, the temperatures (unless it is hotter than 95 degrees), or the seasons.
I love all twelve months and all four seasons.

Unlike my BFF...

PTA President Anyone?

Here's the fair warning to anyone considering becoming a PTA President, and may have to spend a full day getting ready for a silent auction fundraiser....

Your children (and your PTA board member's children) may have free reign of the house while you are otherwise occupied...

Your dining room table will be out of use for dinner for several days...

You may forget not have time to change your baby's diaper until it is showing half his bum and weighs more than he does...

(Drew climbed up on the bench as I grabbed the camera, and fortunately  his kneeling position made for a more dignified photo of his behind...)

Thinking again about considering the PTA President job?

Really, it isn't this bad all of the time.

(Though I would be dishonest if I didn't admit that my children, husband and MYSELF are giddy with excitement quite relieved that the two year PTA President term is soon coming to an end...)