My Favorite Child

This morning, in a random conversation with Luke, I found myself telling him my reaction to finding out he was a boy, when I had an ultrasound with him.

Later, in a spontaneous conversation with a friend, I relayed my experience with choosing/knowing there were more kids to come to our family after the first three. And though, this certainly isn't the forum to repeat the spiritual experience, both of these conversations have been on my mind for most of the day.

Any good parent knows that though we may not have 'a' favorite, we love/like our children for different reasons. And really, when you add up all those different reasons, the love is pretty much equal all the way around.

Megan of course, has that oldest child advantage. Of all of the children, she was loved first. There are no words really to describe the anticipation and experience of becoming a mother for the first time. Mike and I remember looking into her little cradle the first night we were home, and wondering what in the world we were going to do with her. It is no secret that growing up I always said I was going to have all boys. That is what I thought I wanted. Megan of course changed that, but I loved it. I loved pink. I loved hair bows. I loved pretty dresses. I loved having a baby girl.
Megan is my favorite. Megan made me a mother, she made all my little girl wishes of growing up and becoming a mom, come true.

(Megan, 8 years old)

Luke. When I found out I was pregnant with Luke I immediately wanted him to be a boy. A BOY! I wanted a rough and tumble, little boy. Megan spent a lot of time riding in Bobcats, trucks and machinery with Mike. We needed a boy. I wanted a boy so badly I became really worried about what I would think if 'it' was a girl. While I was laying on the bed during 'the gender ultrasound,' I instructed the technician to tell me when she knew what the baby was, and when I was ready I'd ask her to tell us. She soon indicated she knew, and after a few moments, I quietly asked, "What is it?" She answered and I burst into tears, I cried and cried. The technician turned to Mike and asked, "Was that the right or wrong answer?" Mike with a big smile on his face replied, "It was the right answer."
Luke is my favorite. Luke was the little boy I wanted so badly.

(Luke, 5 1/2 years old)

Ellie. Typically, most couples know they will at some point have children. Mike and I didn't really have a 'set number' decided, but after one and then two, we knew that wasn't it. We wanted a third. The day I found out I was pregnant with Ellie, I made a dessert and put in the fridge with a sign in it for Mike to read when he got home, "See you in May, Love The Stork." We decided early on with the pregnancy, that since we had a girl and a boy already, we'd be surprised at delivery. Only problem was, there would be no need for a surprise. I knew she was a little girl, and her name was already picked out, "Annie Louise." A couple of hours after Ellie was born, it was just she and I in the hospital alone. I could not settle, I could not rest. She wasn't an Annie. I even shed a few tears, but she was not Annie. She was Ellie, Ellie Louise.
Ellie is my favorite. Ellie was the baby, no one had to tell me what she was, we were already connected. I knew she would be my little girl.

(Ellie, 11 months old)

Joshua. Mike and I had three kids. We were pretty content. When Ellie was about a year old, we moved into a new house. When we were doing a walk-through of the nearly completed house, I chose the biggest room for Luke. I remember wondering why it mattered, but I really felt like it should be his room. Another year passed, and I spent an afternoon with my girlfriends and one of them cried because she felt like she should have a third baby, but didn't really want to. During the conversation, I began to feel unsettled, but somewhat ignored my feelings, until that evening. While at a family event, I knew I had to have another baby. I went home and told Mike we needed to have another baby, I told him I was pretty sure it was going to be a boy. During my labor with Joshua, (though it was recorded on my medical records, I never had been told whether he was a boy or girl), a nurse 'accidentally' told us we were having a girl. I was devastated. I couldn't believe I had received a spiritual prompting that was 'wrong.' I cried more than once during those few hours of pain, that I wanted a boy. It was supposed to be a boy. When Joshua arrived, Mike with tears streaming down his own face, held him up to me and said, "You got your boy."
Joshua is my favorite. Joshua is the little boy that 'whispered' to me that he still needed to come.

(Joshua, 14 months old)

Drew. When Mike and I made our initial decision to have Joshua, deep down I knew there would be another one too. I also knew it would be my last. I tried to savor each part of my pregnancy with Drew. I tried to complain a little less, and feel blessed a little more. Each time he kicked inside of me, I recognized the miracle of a life inside of me. Each time he awoke for those middle of the night feedings, I tried to appreciate the temporary stage of a newborn. And just the other day, when Drew attempted to take a step from the couch to my open arms, I cried.
Drew is my favorite. Drew will always be my baby.

(Drew, 2 months old)

And now, as a mother of five, I appreciate my parents and my brothers, and Mike's parents and siblings and the love between each of them a little more.

We all have our favorites.
Whether we'll admit it or not.

Paid to Fish

Gotta love when your eight year old comes home from his first time ICE fishing and placed second in the fishing competition.

Do not have to love (I was not home until hours later), when I opened up my meat drawer in the fridge to put away groceries, I was greeted by the winning fish.

Gotta love that he won a $25 Visa gift card and $10 cash.

Do not have to love that it is burning a hole in his pocket, and I hear constant begging for a trip to spend it.

Gotta love Luke and his enthusiasm for life.

My Answers

I LOVED reading your answers. Thanks for the feedback. In comparison, we really are all quite similar. Care for my answers? Here they are:

Question 1:
If you are using liquid detergent how full do you fill the little plastic cup?
Approximately a 1/4, 1/2, 3/4 or full?

3/4 full. I don't skimp on laundry.

Question 2:
Do you have a budget? Do you stick to it?

Yes, I have a budget. No, I may go over some months, but I track every single penny I spend. Mike and I like to set and go over the budget together.

Question 3:
How many times will you use your shower towel before washing it?

3-4 days.

Question 4:
If you find a new recipe, but the ingredients are too expensive, would you buy them regardless, or wait to try the recipe?

Usually wait and then I often never end up making it because I forget about it.

(Sidenote, when we were first married, I wanted to eat out. Mike didn't want to spend the money... Instead we went grocery shopping with a new recipe in hand... the new recipe alone cost us about $30!! (Although it included a garlic press, which I still have today!)

Question 5:
How many pair of shoes are too many?

One day, I'll have one for every day of the year. One more than that will be, too many.
Although, bear in mind, I have 'quantity not quality.' (I own no clothing or shoes since before I was married, but I do wish I still had my Eddie Bauer boots I paid good money for in 1995.)

And last but not least,
Question 6:
What item could you NEVER live without, no matter the cost?

Now I know it will sound very cliche, but... I could never live without good chocolate-now I'm not saying I will pay a lot of money for chocolate currently, but even if for some unknown, tragic reason, chocolate prices skyrocketed, I would not be able to live without it.

President vs Chaperone

(Photo should be here. It isn't. See observation #3 below!)

At the beginning of the school year, I decided that while I was the PTA president this year, I would not to do any volunteering in Megan, Luke or Ellie's classrooms or go on any field trips with them. Except... In a way that only another mother would know, I began to feel a little bit guilty about that decision... The "How come you don't help at our Valentines/Halloween party?" or "Why do you never listen to the kids in my class read?" questions finally got the better of me.

So, when Megan's 5th grade teacher recently sent out an email asking for parent volunteers to accompany the 5th grade to the Utah Symphony, I readily replied. I shocked even myself at my eagerness, as I am easily bored at orchestras, or any non-singing musical performances.
(I should NEVER have just admitted that publicly, all of my in-laws will be appalled!)

But guess what?
I quite enjoyed it.

Well, it helped that;
a. It was geared to 400+ 5th graders,
b. Some of the music I was familiar with, and
c. One of the pieces we were asked to sing along with, 'America, The Beautiful.'

So besides the musical part of the field trip, here are a few thoughts/observations I had/made while spending almost three hours with 5th graders.

1. The box hanging up at the front of the school bus that says, "Bodily Fluid Clean Up Kit" caused my imagination to run wild much more than I would have liked.

2. When the kids start playing the "whisper, whisper, 'Pass It Along'" game during the performance and it gets to me and I hear, "Megan ____ is hot." I realize, I'm not the only person in the crowd that gets slightly bored at orchestras.

3. I am going to purchase a camera to keep solely in my purse. I am tired of getting caught unaware without a camera!

4. I realize I could never work with young children for hours on end, day after day. In just three hours today I saw enough noses picked, and smelled enough stinky things to not be in a hurry to either return to the field trip volunteer sign-up list or ever get a teaching degree.

5. When I pulled out the bag of treats after the performance, to share with the six kids in my group today, I realized I have matured from the days of sneaking homemade warm brownies into the Salt Lake Tabernacle while on a date in 1994 to the First Presidency Christmas Devotional. (The warm brownie aroma filled the air very suddenly and a lot of heads turned.)

6. The children were instructed to wear their nice clothes today. Megan had her outfit carefully planned, and though I questioned it's practicality several times due to the outside temperature, I realized the reason why, this morning when she was searching frantically for her brown sandals.

"Ooohhhh," I said knowingly, "You picked that dress because you wanted to wear those particular shoes, huh?"

Megan very timidly replied, "Yes." Later, when we stood outside in the cold and then had to run half a block to the bus.... At least her shoes were... CUTE!

7. Upon leaving our seats, the teacher instructed me,

"Follow where the crowd is going to get back to the bus."

I. Followed. Her. Instructions.
(Another group from our school followed me.)

(We stood outside in the cold waiting for the bus, watching the kids do 5th grade things (such as a boy taking a treat to the other boy who started the " "Megan S____ is hot" game and said, "This is from Megan." Or watching the 5th grade boys annoy passer-bys, etc.)

After a while, I realized the buses were taking an awfully long time, and not only that, there was suddenly no one else around us... And thus began our half-a-block run down the street to the buses, where we were promptly greeted with,

"Where were you?"

I felt like I was in 5th grade all over again, worried I would get in trouble as I explained to the teacher, "I was told to follow the crowd. I did. It just ended up being the wrong crowd."

So, yes. I, yes, me. Yours Truly, is the one to blame for the buses returning to the school slightly later than planned.

With all these observations. I learned two things.

1. Remember what I've always been taught; don't do anything, just to follow the crowd.
2. I'll stick with being the PTA president this year; I don't do so well as a field trip chaperone!

Use It Up, Wear It Out, Make It Do Or Do Without?!?

(It was worth EVERY penny I spent for this slice of cake...)

Recently, my friend asked me how much (liquid) detergent I use for my laundry. When we discussed it with each other, we were surprised to realize we use very different amounts. In discussions with different friends at different times I realize how differently we all use, wash, clean or buy items. And so, I have pondered a few things lately.

There are times when I am considered wasteful:
For example,

• I wouldn't use anything even a day past it's expiration date.
• I throw away leftovers if they have been in my fridge for more than 48 hours.
• You will never see me, my children or my husband with a hole in our socks (and no, I don't darn them...)
• If I am putting leftovers in a container and the container isn't quite big enough, instead of getting a bigger container out, I throw away what doesn't fit.

There are times I am considered frivolous:
For example,

• I only buy name brand paper towels.
• I have ____ (choosing not to disclose the exact number) pair of shoes.
• I always have to have orange juice in my fridge, and I will only buy it ready made, never the frozen concentrate.

There are times I am considered cheap, (though I prefer to use the term 'wise'):
For example,

• A lot of items I buy are store brand. In fact the other day we opened our fridge and everything screamed 'Great Value.' (Butter, sour cream, cottage cheese, cream cheese, etc.)
• We only take the kids to sit-down restaurants if they have a free meal from school or a kids eat free night. (And even then it is not very often!)
• I love to look at clearance racks and am not ashamed to find a good bargain.

This brings me to a few questions I have had recently, and what better way to see if I am wasteful, frivolous or cheap, than to ask you, my dear friends, how we all compare.

Question 1:
If you are using liquid detergent how full do you fill the little plastic cup?
Approximately a 1/4, 1/2, 3/4 or full?

Question 2:
Do you have a budget? Do you stick to it?

Question 3:
How many times will you use your shower towel before washing it?

Question 4:
If you find a new recipe, but the ingredients are too expensive, would you buy them regardless, or wait to try the recipe?

Question 5:
How many pair of shoes are too many?

And last but not least,
Question 6:
What item could you NEVER live without, no matter the cost?

Want to know my answers?
Tell me yours first.

Abracadabra

I'm not sure I remember when my magical powers began. I think sometime, when in an easy going mood, I 'abracadabra-ed' and some fruit snacks fell out of my arm sleeve. Right then and there my children (I think Luke and Ellie) were stunned.

Since then, I have 'magic-ed' anything from fruit snacks and candy to markers, to skirts and sandals.

Recently, Ellie didn't want to leave the pool. Her whiny response was, "Well, will you magic something when we get home?" (Usually I magic only on my terms, not by request.) But to facilitate a much speedier departure from the water, I agreed.

Upon returning home, as I was emptying the bag of wet towels and swimming suits, I hear a little voice,

"Mom, you are so magic. You are the best mom in the whole entire world."

Who can resist that?
And then it happened.
As I was twirling around in the kitchen 'abracadabra-ing' , uncomfortable and cold in my still wet swimsuit, what do you know?
Two fruit roll-ups fell from my skirt.

Smiling, Joshua and Ellie dove down to scoop them up and my head immediately began hurting from too much twirling, but really, who wouldn't want to be referred to as,

"Mom, you are so magic. You are the best mom in the whole entire world."

(Even Megan believes, after all, if you were complaining you had no shoes to wear to church one Sunday morning, and your mother suddenly 'magics' a new pair, you wouldn't roll your eyes either! Which brings me to why I only magic on my terms and not in response to requests, because Ellie has requested some pretty difficult things for a simple magician like me!)

Good Players

I spent many an afternoon or evening at Granny's house, as a child playing Scrabble with her. I also on occasion played it with my brother, Matt, but he and I usually favored Monopoly.

In November 1998, Mike and I went to our friend's house for dinner. After dinner, they got out Scrabble and the four of us played. The next day, Mike and I went and bought our first Scrabble game. The next Christmas, December of 1999, I bought Mike the 'Deluxe Scrabble' edition. We played it that Christmas Eve, and ever since it has been a favorite past-time of ours.

And I'm not afraid to admit, one of our Scrabble traditions. (Though, Mike's brother/sister-in-law used to make fun of us for it.) We keep a 'Scrabble log.' That's right, we keep the dates, scores, high scores, 7-letter words, and miscellaneous notes for each Scrabble game. The winter Mike was home full-time, he even made a spreadsheet boasting the average scores, most wins (ME! I MIGHT ADD), etc. etc.

We haven't updated the spreadsheet in almost 3 years, but we do have the information available to do so.

Saturday afternoon, while we were sitting playing, I realized Scrabble is such a part of our lives, we better document it. The little boys were napping, Luke and Ellie were at a birthday party and Megan thrilled to have been invited into our midst to take our photo, took about 5 minutes to take the photo. (explanation for why I look slightly irritated...)

And, just for the record.
I won the game.
The score was 396 for me and 233 for Mike. I also had the highest individual word score of 78 (using all 7 of my letters!)

(Side note, our highest record game score is 426 points. (It was mine!)

And I quote from our Scrabble Crossword Game, Gameplay Guide:
"In a 2-player game, a good player scores in the 300-400 point range."

We're good.
Wanna play?