Nobody Told Me

The part I dislike most about baby/wedding showers is the 'give advice' part.
But maybe I should have actually listened. Because there are lots of things lately that catch me by surprise just a little and I think....

Nobody told me:

That when a bike helmet is nowhere to be found, it is because it got thrown in the outside garbage by the 3 year old--the day before garbage day!

That there would be socks everywhere. Bedrooms, kitchen floors, mudroom floor, shoe baskets, in the car. Socks are all over the place.

That sometimes my tongue would quite literally be sore from biting it one too many times, when an argument with a spouse may not quite be worth it that day.

That children rarely notice discomfort when a swimming suit or underwear  is on backwards, or has gone awry. 

That a child gets out a new cup each time they need a drink of water, resulting in an inability to see the counter tops. 

That some children will not care where their toothbrush has been found (next to the toilet, in the toy room), they will still use it.

That when children are missing something. They will ask you where it is, before looking in the actual place it belongs.

That sometimes husbands and wives should sometimes go to bed mad at each other. Why spew a bunch of meaningless words? Just go to sleep back to back, each clinging to their edge of the bed so there is no possiblity of any feet or arms accidentally touching. You can talk about it in the morning.

That if the beaters to the Kitchen-Aid mixer are missing, I should look in the kitchen trash can.

That toddlers don't care if there is an ant hill growing on a piece of cracker left on the floor. They will still eat it.

I've never been one to disperse advice to others at showers or weddings, etc. I'm certainly in no position to give it....

Besides, the only piece of advice I have actually remembered from one of my wedding/baby showers was, "SMILE." But I don't always take it to heart, in fact, I don't always remember it. Because honestly, some days, I'd much rather cry.