Nothings and Everythings

The other night as I was grilling meat, I looked out across our back yard and couldn't help but smile. I would have grabbed my camera, but I don't like my steaks well-done and so I took a mind picture instead.

All of my own children were outback with four additional children from the neighborhood. Most were on the trampoline, a couple were in the sandbox and of course Drew was on his four-wheeler. As I surveyed the scene in my mind, I couldn't help but smile. I love that my children entertain themselves daily.

We don't own any game systems, we have no cable or satellite television, and for the most part my children have no interest in playing on the computer (unless it is Sunday and they all fight for "The Friend" site on lds.org.) Due to a fairly limited budget, we don't do a lot of "stuff", but Mike is continually helping me realize that what we do do, is every bit as good. My children have fantastic imaginations and abilities to find something to do when some of their peers are saying, "There's nothing to do."

For example:
They build chicken coops:
When Luke had his cast removed last week, I agreed completely with the doctor when he said, "That's disgusting." Obviously he doesn't know that Luke really isn't a typical 10 year old boy in 2012. He is probably much more similar to a 10 year old boy in 1912 or even 1812.

For example: I'm not sure how many 10 year old patients they have that while their parents were at a sister's track meet, the 10 year old decides to build a chicken coop entirely by himself and move his chickens from across the street to our back yard.

Ever heard the phrase "It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission"? Guess Luke has that principle mastered now.

They don't get dressed very often
Drew continues to wear only his underwear, although he is getting quite good at understanding the rule that he must wear clothes outside of our yard. We haven't perfected the rule or routine, and he is still frequently found streaking the cul-de-sac in just underwear. Unfortunately he thinks the great outdoors is his toilet bowl, and so there may be the odd occasion you see him stark naked.

Oh, but if Drew plays in wet mud like he did yesterday, he doesn't really matter if he is wearing just his underwear. The mud covered him pretty well, so perhaps no one noticed he was only wearing underwear to start with. (Sorry no photo! I was driving off to an appointment, and I guess the 13 year old doesn't see the potential for a memory like a mother does-and sees a gross chore to take care of instead. Thanks too Megan for putting him in the shower!)

Joshua on the other hand adores the days we have nowhere to go (or at least he doesn't have to get out of the car) and can stay in his pajamas all day. It makes me crazy! CRAZY! But I'm trying to realize it doesn't matter all that much in the long run.

They aren't hard to please
Rarely do I drink soda, but the other day while driving home from somewhere with the girls, I decided to stop and get a fountain rootbeer from a nearby gas station. My girls politely asked for a slurpee, and when I saw they were on a special for 39 cents, I obliged. Then in a pure moment of spontaneity, I decided to "splurge" and bought one to take home for everyone.

You'd have thought I'd have come home with a million bucks for them. My kids thought it was the coolest thing ever to have a slurpee from the gas station. Guess we don't get out much...

It's too bad Mike was home a few minutes earlier than usual and missed out on any gas station treat, but I kindly gave him a few sips of my rootbeer as penitence.

We entertain ourselves
I have mixed feelings about not having a photo of our family trampoline jumping activity on Sunday. The mere thought of neighbors seeing us, is probably enough to be grateful we have no permanent proof. I'm quite glad I don't know what the 500lb + sight of weight jumping up and down on the trampoline at one time looked like. Although the laughter, smiles and sounds captured could have been a great photo opp. (Sometimes I daydream of being followed around by a photographer capturing those great family moments that are impossible to capture oneself.)

I kind of wish I had a photo of Mike and how high he could jump. He's always bragging (okay, just sometimes) to our kids about his great jumping/slam-dunking abilities as a teenager, so imagine those skills on a trampoline. I refused to take a photo of him, because with every jump all I saw was the potential for a medical emergency and I would have hated for the picture to be reason enough for an insurance to deny a claim for his stupidity talent. If you don't count the case of motion sickness I went to bed with that night, it was surprisingly an accident free event.

Okay, lest one think it is all chicken coops, slushies and jumping around here, it isn't. Case in point, the family trampoline jumping event was after our children had come into our room about 36 times interrupting a fight Mike and I were having to ask "how much longer are you going to be?"

It's what we do.
The fighting included.

POST-EDIT--It's always a fabulous thing when the neighbor sends a photo to capture one's stellar parenting skills...

Ten and a HALF

When exactly half birthdays got to be such a novelty is unknown, but I guess it's what we do. Luke's barely made it in time for bed--by 8:45pm the kids were begging for the cake they'd seen sitting on the counter for the past three hours. It may or may not have been licked, poked and picked at for those three hours.

Oh well. Who cares? Licked or not-who can't love a piece of chocolate cake!

Ellie Lately

• A couple of weeks ago, Ellie chose to have her hair cut short. She was absolutely in love with it. Every time I looked at her, she was either flicking her head or running her fingers through her hair

I loved that later that evening she even decorated an Easter egg with the following inscription,
"I love my hair."

• After having a wobbly front tooth for almost 5 months, it finally came out. Ellie's first tooth came out when I was in Washington DC last year, and another tooth came out last month while I was in California. She was so worried this one would come out while I was in Las Vegas, but fate was in her favor and it fell out two days before I left.

• Mike, not often one to buy items for our children (much less be in the vicinity of a store other than Home Depot), spotted these shoes while in California last month. He absolutely had to buy them for Ellie. He talked the guy down in price, despite the seller's insistence, "There are a lot of diamonds in there." Ellie loves them. Every time she wears them her bum wiggles just slightly and I know she is imagining herself a grown-up. I know this because I used to do the same thing. (Except the sparkly black and gold dress-up shoes I wore were just that--dress up shoes. They were far too big for me.) 

(Why don't I have a side picture to show there are even more diamonds in the heels and sides?!)

Oh to be almost 8!

For the Love of Livestock

This last week Luke learned the first of many hard lessons as an animal lover. Hazel was sold! After finding out she was probably past her kid-bearing years, it was time to say farewell. Luke's little tender expression as he described his goodbye to her is a scene I hope to never forget. (I thank my lucky stars I wasn't there in person for their goodbye!)

In a momentary lapse of judgement  a few days before Hazel's departure, I completely stepped out of my true character and began to suggest to Mike we find someway to keep Hazel. Mike's response, "It is LIVESTOCK. You don't fall in love with LIVESTOCK."

He's wrong. If you are a young boy named Luke, you do. And if you are that young boy's mother, you do too by default.

As any tough young livestock lover would, the next afternoon Luke did his best to forget Hazel, and went to his local 4-H meeting to pick out his new project for this summer...

Meet Lily, the goat.

Luke picked the goat up on a Saturday afternoon. She didn't have a name until the next day. A few hours after Luke announced the name to us, I found a book of mine titled, "Naming Your Baby" on the floor by his bed. It warmed my heart at the thought of Luke using a baby name book to name a goat?!?

Luke had talked for weeks about how boy goats sell better than girl goats because they are bigger and have more meat, so I was very surprised to return home and discover that Luke had a girl goat.

Finally, I decided to flat-out ask Luke why it was he had chosen a girl-goat. I really thought he was going to tell me he had no-choice and the girl was all he could pick from. With a solemn and serious face Luke looked right at me and timidly said,

"The reason I didn't sell Hank last year was because I knew he would die for someone to eat his meat. Rob (the 4-H instructor) told me girls are popular because people get them to breed. They don't kill the girl goats as much for meat because they want them to breed. It will be easier to sell Lily knowing she won't die."

I'm not sure who was closer to tears during that little dialogue, Luke or me.

Even though we have already had (and will continue to have) many a conversation about Lily having to be sold at the County Fair later this year, I'm beginning to wonder who exactly those reminder conversations are for. Luke or me?

Not sure whether it is the goats that have captured my heart or my little boy, Luke.

The Lighter Side of Vegas

When my sister-in-law Kristin decided to drive from St. George to attend the Power of Moms Las Vegas Retreat with me I was thrilled! A few days beforehand, my brother James decided to come along for a little trip too.

What fun!
What laughter!
What memories!

I wish I could tie all our funny memories and experiences into an eloquently worded essay-but I can't and won't. Instead I'll just record them as I remember them and hope they'll provide moments of laughter in years to come.

After my plane landed at the Las Vegas airport, I mistakenly thought James and Kristin were picking me up from the airport in style with a limousine ride. So when I took a wrong turn to exit the airport and found myself amid dozens of limos and then found out I was in the wrong place, I was sorely disappointed. Ah well-nothing like a reality check when I did finally get to them, I opened the car door to find my darling niece in just a diaper, and the whole car smelling like throw-up. (It was obviously a long drive from St. George to Las Vegas for a 2 year old!)

On the bright side, the measurements of Kristin's bum versus mine, landed her the spot in the backseat between the 2 car seats (and the stronger throw-up smell) and not me!

James and Kristin were honored to be introduced to what my children have affectionately named, "The Lady" (my cell-phone's voice activated navigation system). I was delighted that ME, the least technological family member had the most advanced system to navigate us through the streets of Vegas! (You're welcome James and Kristin.)

I was mildly self-conscious that James decided to wear his Utah shirt the day he checked himself and 2 women into a hotel room in Las Vegas. I wish I'd have had a big sign that read, "I AM HIS SISTER NOT HIS 2ND WIFE" but alas I didn't. Let people think what they may.

I loved that after James and I spent 5+ minutes at a local grocery store trying to locate a shopping cart I got over the embarrassment quicker than James did and was able to ask for assistance in locating a cart. Who has  to do that? Obviously me.

It made me smile to realize that James is cheap like me. And even though he wouldn't have been brazen enough to do it, he cheered me on as I sauntered into the local Subway sandwich shop to ask for free mayonnaise to go along with the bread and lunch meat we had just purchased at aforementioned-hard-to-locate-grocery-cart-store.

I thanked my lucky stars that while James sat in the hotel chair holding Annie, she threw up all over him and not on my clothes laid out for Friday night and Saturday that were sitting mere inches away from them both.

I didn't feel quite as lucky however when a few minutes later Megan text me and asked, "Are you enjoying sitting by the pool in the 93' weather?" and I had to respond, "Not doing that exactly--instead I'm walking to the hotel laundry to wash throw up clothes." Granted, James or Kristin could have laundered James and Annie's soiled clothes themselves, but it was a. more preferable than hanging out with my brother in his underwear in the hotel room while Kristin took them, or b. sending him through the hotel resort wearing only his underwear to launder his own clothes. Fortunately James found a pair of basketball shorts and was able to make an emergency trip back to the hard-to-find-cart-store to buy popsicles and gatorade for Annie.

Upon his return, in addition to popsicles and gatorade, James had kindly purchased me a box of Hostess cupcakes, yum! (There are some pure processed foods I LOVE.)  I think the cupcakes were a peace offering of sorts for literally taking care of his dirty work.

Conveniently (for James), he forgot to give the cupcakes to me at the end of the day on Saturday. I hope he thinks of my selflessness in laundering throw-up clothes with every bite he takes of the 7 cupcakes he now has to himself. Thank heaven I thought to at least eat one on Friday night!

I'm not sure Kristin will ever recover from the sight of seeing me upside down in the passenger seat of her car on the strip in Las Vegas. I was trying to subtley make the switch from the backseat to the front on the busy 11pm strip on a Friday night after my friend April had made her exit from the car. Unfortunately the switch wasn't quite so subtle and I'm sure I fit in well with some of the crazies on the strip as I had to open the door to finish my flip. Kristin wishes she'd have had a camera. I am beyond grateful that she didn't.

Kristin and I have a deep sense of gratitude to "The Lady" for safely navigating us through the streets of the not-so-good-parts of Vegas after taking a wrong turn. Our gratitude continued to swell, that despite the low-battery signal on my phone, it lasted until we could safely see the signs of our hotel. A tender mercy indeed! Heaven forbid we'd have had to rely on a voiceless system on her cell phone.

Not sure exactly what happened to Kristin after she dropped me off at the hotel laundry at 11pm that night to retrieve the now clean and dried clothes. After arriving to the hotel room with the pile of clean laundry on one arm and a stack of new bath towels on another, I opened the door to find James and Annie, but no Kristin and Kate. Though Kristin had parked just feet away from our room, she disoriented herself and wandered the resort with a baby carrier on her arm until James guided her back.

I won't tell anyone that she then placed the baby carrier (with baby Kate in it) in the middle of the parking lot while she greeted her fevered 2 year old. Of course I wouldn't even dream of mentioning the fact that James had to ask her to move the baby and the baby carrier from the path of an oncoming car.

I couldn't help but giggle hysterically at 2:55am when a car alarm began blaring just outside our window. Fortunately it didn't last too long (the giggling or the alarm). I'd hate to have been the one to blame for waking up the sick 2 year old or the 2 month old at 3am.

Although my baby brother James isn't necessarily one to frequently tell me how much he loves and adores me as his big sister, his actions speak louder than words. James circled the Las Vegas airport at least 3 times before he dropped me off for my return flight home. James claims he kept missing the turn, and though it caused plenty of laughter, I do think he was secretly sad to be saying goodbye to me so soon and wanted to be with me for a few more swoops of the Las Vegas airport.

If he tells me anything differently, I will not forgive him for forgetting my box of Hostess cupcakes and will demand he give me a box the next time I see him. If he admits that yes that was indeed the reason he circled the Las Vegas airport three times, I will forget he ever forgot the cupcakes.

I love James, Kristin, Annie and Kate! What a fun 31 hour trip to Vegas.

Sheer Joy

Ellie told me this morning during breakfast that there was a surprise upstairs in my bedroom. But in the rush of getting Luke and Ellie out of the door, I didn't go upstairs until they had already left for school. Oh I wish I had while she was still home!

I came upstairs to my bed made, and post-it notes on the wedding picture above my bed.

It warmed my heart to see Ellie's expression of love for us on our anniversary.

(Have I ever told you before how much I LOVE my children's attempts at spelling words?)

I LOVE my anniversary. (Almost as much as my birthday, but in a simpler way.) When I was a child, throughout all my elementary school years I had a friend in my class, Lisa, whose birthday was April 24th. I always thought she was a beautiful girl and everyone liked her, and for some reason I thought my fall birthday paled in comparison to having such a glorious spring date as a birthday. There just seemed to be something about that date that I loved. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact she always seemed to hold her birthday parties on Sundays and our family chose not to go to birthday parties on Sundays and so her birthdays were all the more glorified to me.

It was during my childhood that I attended a wedding once on a Thursday and afterwards walked down to the local shops, still in my pretty dress. A man stopped me and asked,

**insert a gentleman-y english accent here** "What are you doing all dressed up on a Thursday afternoon?"

When I replied I had been to a wedding he responded,

"Thursday?! What an interesting day to get married."

I left the exchange determined that Thursday was indeed the most romantic day to be married and I decided right then and there that I would be married on a Thursday.

Fast forward to January of 1997.

Mike and I "decided" (it's a long story and I really will one day soon finish the last episode of the "Mike and Tiffany blog post series" I started four years ago!) while sitting in his black Chevy truck late when night, that we were going to get married. I immediately said I wanted to get married on April 24th. Of course he had no strong feelings either way. Imagine to my surprise and sheer joy that when I returned home that night, I realized April 24th, 1997 was a THURSDAY!!!!!!!!!!

Obviously it was meant to be. And I have experienced nothing but sheer joy for 15 years since.

Okay, I'm kidding. It hasn't all been sheer joy for 15 years--but I wouldn't trade Mike for anything. He's a good guy to have around. I've written lots of posts in the past about how opposite and different we are, but it works beautifully for us. I love, LOVE, LOVE him.

Happy Anniversary!

Las Vegas Goodness

Where do I even begin to describe the Power of Moms Retreat I went to this last weekend in Las Vegas? Each time I attend a Power of Moms workshop or retreat, I think that there is no way the next one can be as good as the last. Every time it is. There are so many fabulous mothers in this world!!! I feel so honored and blessed to meet so many of them.

There was an added amount of challenge organizing a retreat from 500 miles away, but with my (new) dear friend Becky planning in Las Vegas, and me from Utah we pulled it off! Becky opened her beautiful home to some 50+ mothers to spend the day learning from each other. I wish I could have spent time visiting with each one individually--there was so much goodness in that room.

(Me, Becky Fife, April Perry)

It doesn't seem to matter how many times I have attended one of these retreats or heard a lot of this great information over and over--each time is unique and there is always something to learn and take-away.

My a-ha moments this time were, "Having enough is as good as a feast" (quoted from Mary Poppins), having "I'd love to" rewards to encourage children to respond that way instead of with rolled eyes and groans, using a "I'm thinking of three things..." game to encourage children to do clean-up and see if they pick up the three things you thought of, being sure to tell my kids when they are doing something that makes me happy, and capturing something joyful in every single day.

I was honored to correspond and arrange with Stephanie Waite (from A Daily Scoop) to be our keynote guest speaker. Wow! What a lady. So much to learn from her. One of my favorite lines of the whole day came from her, "Enjoy motherhood NOW." She has a tragic, yet unique perspective to teach from and I wish I could have spent hours talking with her.

(Me, Stephanie Waite, April Perry)

Of course I loved presenting alongside none other than the April Perry, of Power of Moms and "Your Children Need You NOW" article fame. What  a phenomenal lady. I've known April a little over two years, and though we only see each other for a couple of days a few times a year, I consider her a dear friend.

I absolutely LOVED that my sister-in-law Kristin attended with me. More on that tomorrow...

(Me, Kristin and niece Kate)

As I boarded my plane to return home late Saturday evening, I had a big smile on my face. That NEVER happens when I fly--but Saturday night my heart felt full. Not only was it because I was excited to return home to my family whom of course I had been thinking about all day as we talked about motherhood and families, but I felt humbled and honored to be a part of such a worthy organization.

The essence of my Power of Moms experiences can be captured with this quote:

"Women wish to be loved without a why or a wherefore; not because they are pretty, or good, or well-bred, or graceful, or intelligent, but because they are themselves."

Henri Frederic Amiel

Every time I have met a woman at a Power of Moms event, I feel as though I am meeting them. No pretenses, no airs, no hoity-toity-ness. Just plain goodness and realness radiating from each one.

I love the support and associations The Power of Moms has given me with scores of these types of mothers around the country. I can't imagine my life without it.