Monday, December 12, 2011

A Goat Wedding

To make a long story short, Hank had a room-mate move in the other night. Except the room-mate isn't just any old room-mate, it is a pregnant goat.
At least we hope she is pregnant.

It's kind of a long story, I'll make it quick.
Paul (Luke's mentor) was disappointed Luke wasn't able to sell Hank at the County Fair. Not that he doesn't like Hank, or want Hank living over there, (Au contraire!) he was just disappointed that Luke wasn't able to get a return on his investment and experience 'raising a goat to sell.'

Insert into the story an injured goat that Paul's son Clint found in the middle of nowhere a year or so ago, and gave a home.

Paul figured that homeless goat could become the mother of baby goats that Luke could raise and SELL at next year's county fair.

Luke and Mike picked up the goat about 6 weeks ago, and introduced me to her on the way to her "Goat House." (Really, what should I call that type of place?) The poor thing didn't even have a name, so I promptly named her Hazel, and off to* find a boyfriend* she went.

Luke informed me "She will come home after going through three cycles." He knew enough to (somewhat) know what he was talking about, and now he knows even more.

Thursday afternoon, Luke made me stop by Hazel's "temporary residence" to see if she was available to come home yet. Friday morning he begged me to take him to go and get Hazel. My response?

"Nowhere in my job description did it say I would transport livestock around town. That is Daddy's department. Ask him."

It was like waiting for Christmas morning for Luke! But finally Saturday evening, just as the sun was setting Hazel was introduced to Hank. I don't think it went too well.

Even though I have never been one to believe that animals should be treated like humans, I have found it slightly scandalous that a pregnant goat was moving in with Hank. So Sunday morning, just hours after Hank and Hazel's first night together I walked over to visit them. Luke was screwing down Hank's roof in final preparations for the impending wind storm. Pulling a red ribbon from my pocket, I informed Luke that is was time for Hank and Hazel to be married.

Poor Hazel was scared to death already of her new home, and was certainly showing some nerves as a 10 year old boy used a power tool above her head, and so as a result, Luke decided that trying to attach a red ribbon to her horns for a wedding ceremony wasn't the most nerve-settling thing we could do for her. And bless Luke's heart, he tried his best to brush her horrible snarled fur, but she'll have to get used to that gradually.

After trying our best to get them to stand together, I decided that I could pronounce them "man and wife" just as well with them three feet apart as side-by-side.

And so I now introduce to you, Hank and Hazel, husband and wife.
I don't doubt we are in for all sorts of adventures now with TWO GOATS, one of them likely pregnant!!

(Even though I record plenty of funny things on my blog that my kids say, I don't really think it would be appropriate to declare so publicly what Luke ran home telling me yesterday about Hank and Hazel. But believe me, I absolutely did record it in my personal journal. It's funny. Like laugh out loud funny. Sorry I can't share.)

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