A Nice Guy and A Ornery Wife

I don't think I have ever received flowers for Valentine's Day. Neither Mike or I are big fans of the day and I've never cared one way or the other about receiving flowers on February 14th. Yet this year a pretty vase of flowers sits on my kitchen table.

It has absolutely nothing to do with the date and everything to do with a nice husband who surprised me with flowers last Friday afternoon.

I'm not sure if it was because of the tears I shed most of Thursday (not from anything he did), or the fact I was kind of a mean wife on Friday morning and he was trying to remind himself that yes he really loves me.

We are a good match.
I'm glad he's mine.
Happy Valentine's Day.

Sad and Delicious

Oh what sad news to hear that Whitney Houston died! I have lots of fond Whitney Houston music memories.

It all started with the "Whitney" cassette tape I received for Christmas 1987. I LLLOOVVEEDD it. Upon hearing of Whitney's death Saturday night, I couldn't help but feel badly I don't have more Whitney Houston songs on my i-tunes library. Uploading songs to i-tunes is now on my to-do list for Monday. I will be joining the ranks of the millions who will be causing Whitney music sales to sky rocket this week. I will be purchasing this album--except not the cassette tape version. I have that upstairs in a box in my closet.

In a personal ode to Whitney. I spent 15 minutes Sunday night on You Tube singing along to some old Whitney favorites. I sang into a pen in true Tiffany style (as loud as possible), while Drew (and then Joshua) stood next to me conducting with a pencil. Excuse the poor photography, but Megan couldn't resist the photo opportunity!

Our "Ode to Whitney" memorial was topped off with some d.e.l.i.c.i.o.u.s. sugar cookies, courtesy of yours truly. Now if you remember THIS POST, I am a self proclaimed sugar cookie snob. I know which sugar cookies I like. (My recipe, made by my mother or myself, sugar cookies from Parson's Bakery or Cutler's.)

I'm rarely even tempted to sample other sugar cookies. It isn't worth the disappointment. I think it all stemmed from when I was first married and my visiting teacher brought me a plate of sugar cookies that looked like her young children had frosted them. (First clue.) But being a LOVER of sugar cookies, I looked past the appearance and took a bite. I never even finished chewing that one and only bite. It and the rest of the cookies went straight to the garbage can. I've been skeptical of sugar cookies ever since.

Anyway, why all this sugar cookie talk? Because I went to a cooking class the other week and the people from Cutler's were there and shared their sugar cookie recipe.

I made them tonight.

(This plate was for my neighbors, but they weren't home when Mike went over. I'm sorry to say there will probably not be a second attempt at delivery. I do wish they had been home though. Not because I don't want to eat them, but because I think our friend would have gotten quite a kick out of opening his front door to Mike standing there holding a plate of pink heart cookies.)

Yum. Yum. Yum.
It was a perfect way to end my personal Whitney Memorial Service.

"I will always love you."
(I'm referring to Whitney and sugar cookies.)

A Slice of Humble Pie

About 6 years ago I nagged Mike to go to the doctor. I was convinced he probably had high cholesterol, high blood pressure and a plethora of other imagined diagnoses. Besides, he was long overdue for a checkup.

Mike obliged my nagging, and dragged himself to the doctor's appointment I made for him. Mike returned home from the said doctor's appointment with "a slice of pie" for me.
Humble pie.

His cholesterol and everything else were at optimal levels and Mike, who though very physically active, has "exercised" only a handful of times in his adult life, was even asked by the doctor if he worked out!! Needless to say, Mike has never let me forget his infamous doctor's appointment in 2006. (Yes, he has been back since.)

For the last year or so I've taken on a new subject to nag about. I'll make a long story short and I'll preserve some of Mike's dignity, but suffice it to say that last year I began to nag Mike to see a dentist. I convinced myself that his mouth was full of cavities. Besides he was long overdue for a dental visit since his last one in 1990, a couple of months before his LDS mission!!!!!!!!

Yes. You read that right. It's been 21 years since Mike set foot in a dental office.

This last fall I started going to a new dentist, that Mike has had some business associations with. I could tell Mike really liked this dentist and so I used it to my advantage to begin warming Mike up to the idea of him visiting the dentist. A month ago I decided to quit the nagging, and instead I came home from my last dentist visit and declared,

"I have to go back to the dentist in a couple of weeks for them to fix a cracked filling. I've made an appointment for you to go too."

What??? 

But of course the appeal of a "date" with his dear wife on a Monday morning was too good to turn down. Who cares if it was a date to the dentist, he was on board.

Almost three weeks ago, as Mike and I walked out of the dentist office together, Mike had a big grin on his face.
And me?
Well I was yet again left holding a generous helping of humble pie.

He had one cavity.

I think I'm going to quit nagging.

Clearing a Few Things

I feel the need to clear a few things up that have come to my attention...

First of all--going back to the breastfeeding/family bed post--the private comments I received from people were all very encouraging, kind and complimentary. Most of them sharing their own disappointments and feelings of guilt to do with breastfeeding. I was reminded how important it really is to be very careful what we say to others--especially to new mothers. I didn't make myself clear, and someone queried if the comments I received were mean-they weren't.

Second--the article I wrote (HERE) about a food processor and a coat. After reading the article a few times after it was published, I was concerned that our dear friends came across as superficial and caring only about looks and clothes. So far, far from the truth! These friends are some of mine and Mike's very favorites. As different as we may be on outward appearances, we have spent many, many hours with these friends talking about stuff that really matters. (And plenty of time talking about stuff that doesn't!) I wish every married couple had such friends as neighbors.

Third--the homework article. Of course if you've read my blog for any length of time you know I have a pretty tongue-in-cheek style of writing. I'm often sarcastic in my attempt at humor. As much as I dislike homework, I can absolutely extol its merits. My children have mastered many concepts and subjects through homework. I still however maintain there is absolutely no reason EVER for elementary school children to have weekend and holiday homework. My children do music practicing, chores and other required "not fun things" on weekends. Homework is just not one of them.

Fourth--As I've mentioned more than once, I have a wonderful BFF. And she thinks the same about me! I loved her little tribute to me HERE. But as wonderful as she makes me sound, she is better because she watches my kids for no reason at all way more than I ever watch hers.

Fifth--Hank is not the father of Hazel's soon-to-be born babies. I know, I know, it is slightly scandalous that they live together. But remember, they are kind of married. Hank is actually having a separate shelter built as I speak. We (Luke and Mike) don't want him being mean to the new baby kids, whose births I am hoping not to assist with.

Think that is about it.

Everything

What a fabulous "nothing" weekend, that turned out to be a great one!

• An long-overdue lunch with my friend Allyson

• Mild weather with kids playing outside for hours

• A spontaneous afternoon date with Mike to the hardware store and gas station for a fountain rootbeer, a once a month indulgence (the rootbeer not the hardware store)

• A frantic phone call from Melanie with her laughing her head off telling me we were on the home page of KSL all Friday afternoon and evening. You can read it HERE.

• Take-out Cafe Rio with our good friends, Kari and Kellen.

• A highlight of our half birthday tradition on Babble. You can read it HERE.

• Our typical one hour "cleaning hour" on Saturday morning that dragged into almost 4 hours with Mike vacuming, organizing, and cleaning behind shelves and under couches.

• Joshua and Drew being invited to sleep over at Grandma and Grandpa's house!!!!!!!!!!! The 22 hours they were gone our house stayed calm, peaceful, and clean! 

• Dinner with just Mike, me and the older three kids at one of my all time favorite restaurants (Spaghetti Factory). I hadn't eaten there for over two years, and as I remembered, it did not disappoint.

• Church meetings, specifically Sacrament Meeting without a two year old and four year old were pure bliss! Not to mention I didn't have to visit the restrooms once with those pea-sized bladder children of mine not with me. (Grandma on the other hand at her church with said two and four year olds visited it at least three times...)

• Sunday dinner with Grandma and Grandpa with a bonus slide show and joke session.

• A Superbowl party hosted by my BFF's son. And me who knows nor CARES anything about football won the prize for predicting the EXACT score. (Even though I switched the teams around.)

• Megan coming into our room at 9:30pm Sunday night almost in a panic that she completely forgot to memorize a poem that was due Monday morning. Oh wait--that wasn't a good part of the weekend. But the fact we sent her out of our room to deal with her own natural consequence and this morning she recited it perfectly for us, was.

• Oh and we can't forget the fact Megan wanted to pretend it was the 1980's and Drew was a work-out instructor and dressed him in a doll outfit of Ellie's.

That pretty much sums up our weekend around here. It may seem like nothing much, but it was everything.

"enjoy the little things in life, for one day you'll look back and realize they were the big things."

Happy Monday!

And don't forget you can enter the blender give-away through tomorrow (Tuesday) night by clicking HERE.

Opportunities

Do you ever get to the end of a day, a week, or a month and realize you've tried your very best to make sure everyone's laundry is done, everybody has been fed and bathed, everyone has been taken to this activity or that, and you were even able to squeeze in moments of one-on-one time with each child and the husband! Everybody is happy and content!

BUT...ever wonder who has made sure MOM has been taken care of!? Sometimes we're the last ones on the list.

My friend Janelle is going to be addressing this very issue at a Power of Moms workshop "Taking Care of the "ME" in Mom." It will be held in a home in Farmington and promises to be a fulfilling, fun evening. Follow the link HERE to read more about it and to register.

Or if that one doesn't work for you, put Saturday, March 10th 10am-12pm on your calendar for one by my friend Lindsay in Provo. (Registration will be up soon!)

If none of those grab your fancy, maybe this will: a Couples Family Systems workshop being held in Orem on March 2nd. You can read more about it HERE.

And if none of the above appeals to you. Here's an opportunity that I may have soon...

Helping this goat give birth!
It gives me anxiety to think too much about it. When Luke runs in the house each day describing to me the telltale signs that the goat is indeed pregnant and will very likely give birth in the next month or so, I want to cry.

I'm not quite sure what in the world Mike and I have gotten ourselves into. All Mike says when I ask him what we need to do in preparation is smile and say, "I'm not sure, but I do know we need to go buy some full arm gloves."

Oh boy.

Now if those aren't some decent opportunities, I'm not quite sure what are.
Take your pick.

The Money Grab

One of my very favorite things about meeting with people through The Power of Moms are the fabulous ideas I get. So many of the systems we have in place in our home come from an original idea I heard from someone that I've tweaked to work for us.

This one is no different.
But let me give a background to why I've chosen to implement it in our own unique way.

A couple of months ago we chose a new system for every day chores and assignments. We've found for us that switching things around every few months work the very best. Even though we may have gone through several systems over the years, we figure as long as we have something in place we're doing okay.

Each child has a small piece of paper--that has a short checklist they need to mark off every day. (Each child's is different.) It has to be checked and turned in before any playing or free time after school. When we first implemented it, we told them that after a certain number were gathered, we would reward the family as a whole.

Which we did in November. But you see, it took a little longer than the month we estimated it to take to get the number of "tickets" required to be turned in. Some children didn't do their stuff as faithfully as another, yet all of the children participated in the family activity... It didn't seem quite as fair as it should be.

Introduction of an idea I heard at our recent Power of Moms workshop:
One family has a jar full of coins that kids were able to reach in and grab a handful of for their weekly allowance.

Hmmm...

Mike and I have never been big "allowance payers" and we aren't a big fan of paying our children for every day stuff or for Saturday's Cleaning Hour. Typically our children can earn money for "above and beyond jobs" they ask for, or we assign.

But we've been looking for something to motivate our children to want to turn in their papers, and to work a little more quickly and willingly.

So after a trip to the bank for lots of coins (my job), and some creativity and calculations (Mike's job), we recently introduced to our children our very first "Money Grab."

Except it was more of a money throw as Mike set the stage by throwing money across the family room carpet.

Mike calculated the seconds each child would get based on their age and how many papers they had turned in for the previous week. As cheap Mike looked down on the floor and saw too many quarters scattered, he decided at the last minute to throw in one last negotiation. Each child could "buy" a couple more seconds if while they grabbed for the coins, they were blindfolded.

Of course, that turned it into a game and they all wanted blindfolds.

Megan ended up with the least amount of money. And even though she earns a pretty cushy wage each month teaching her four piano students (six if you count Ellie and Luke), she will probably opt not to be blindfolded next week.

It turned out to be a very minimal "allowance" they each earned. But their confidence in grabbing more money next week, is certainly helping them stay on task with their chores and assignments this week! It's all about setting up systems to help the children want to work hard and obey. We'll see how long this one lasts.