To make kind of a long story short...An old friend recently put as a status update on Facebook, that she was decorating gingerbread ornaments with her children. Though I did not comment on her status, her sister did. Her sister's comment was something along the lines of it making her feel not as good of a mom. I thought the EXACT SAME THING!
WHY DO WE DO THAT?
I love reading this old friend's blog. She is beautiful, a fabulous writer, has a gorgeous family, takes beautiful photos, etc. etc. etc. Sometimes I fall into that thinking trap, "Oh she has it all together."
WHY DO WE DO THAT?
Well, in response to her sister's Facebook comment, my friend did a whole blog post confessing her inadequacies as a mother. It is very well written. So true. So honest. I laughed at some, I almost teared up at others. Her honesty was so real.
It really got me thinking...
Just last week, I had somebody say to me,
"I want my family to be just like yours one day."
I smiled, and graciously accepted the compliment.Who.Am.I.Kidding?
So, in the true spirit of mothers sticking together, I, like my friend will be a little bit honest. Here is a small sample of last week and then you can really see if you want your family to be like mine one day.
Here you go.
-While playing a game with the children, tweak the money just a bit so mom will soon lose and game will soon end...
-Figure whilst crawling around on the floor, the baby got enough crumbs leftover from last nights meal that it will replace the need to feed him breakfast
-Dig fingernails slightly into child's hand for added effect while dragging child to their room.
-Ignore seven phone calls from children during a Stake Conference meeting...
-Upon arrival home, find out reason for seven missed phone calls, because middle child pulling down underwear and dancing
-Only reason shower finally got cleaned after SIX WEEKS was because child tells me "it looks really gross and really needs to be cleaned"
-D#@$ it could be heard loudly, repeated three times as dirty socks left on the stairs were thrown at guilty child...
-Evening dinner: cheese and crackers
-Tell husband to shut up while he is doing a favor for me
-Feel slight disappointment instead of sheer joy(?) when baby's nap-time is over.
-Allowed two-year old to eat five candy canes in a row before 9:30am
Now. Do you really want your family to be just like mine one day?
Kudos to my friend for so bravely being honest. Women need to be honest far more often. No matter what image we might be trying to portray, none of us have it ALL together!
(Keep up the GOOD work mothers.)
Yes I still do!! I know I am crazy but I look forward to the chaos. I know it will be nuts but that is what having a family is all about! I really did love this post. And yes you are welcome to laugh at me in ten years and say "I told you so!!" hahaa!!
ReplyDeleteI love this post!! I think we always think everyone else has it more together and is more perfect or whatever...but we all struggle and have our moments..good and bad! But you truly are a good mother...Luv ya!
ReplyDeleteI say DAMMIT A lot! If you saw my house you might just die of embarrassment for me! My laundry is never done! My showers are not cleaned as often as they should be. There is always a pile of dishes in the sink. Socks all over the floor constantly. Maybe I better shut up! Anyway...Thanks for this post.
ReplyDeleteI think your blog was so honest and hallarious. I lived next door to you for 22 years and always admired you for how sweet you were to little James. I know you are a wonderful mother and I know how hard you work. You are doing a great job!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou know what? I totally agree. and I have to admit that you made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteLife is not perfect...no one is perfect...except for one. As we muddle through our existence as human beings...and yes mothers; we have to remember that no matter what happens; no matter how our children turn out; no matter what mistakes we make; we have a Heavenly Father that loves us to pieces and is beside us ALL the way.
Oh how I wish I could have seen middle child dancing around the house! Well done.
ReplyDeleteI love your honesty,but I have to say that you are still an awesome family. To see you all together brings my heart joy. I guess it's your honestly that I love most and if there is a mother that is perfect I would like to meet her. You're wonderful in my book!!
ReplyDeleteJust to make you feel better I love to read Not Me Mondays on mycharmingkids.net. It makes me feel better.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your insightful, witty and completely honest posts.
Tiffany! I LOVED your post! I called my Mom tonight who informed me that she had just read your blog and was laughing hysterically. She then went on to recall a few of her favorites. Needless to say I couldn't wait to read for my self. Hilarious! I seriously just loved it! It's so true how we all want to be the best mothers and when we come up short of perfection then we experience endless guilt. It doesn't help that we compare ourselves to others who appear to have it more together which makes us want to beat ourselves up all the more. Will the guilt ever end??? How refreshing it is for wonderful women and mothers to bravely reveal the hidden truths behind the facade of perfection. Ha! Thanks for the good laugh. I swear I can relate to almost everything you said! Hope you have a wonderful week!
ReplyDeleteDearest Tiffany, that is seriously one of the best compliments I have ever received! Your post really touched me and deeply meant a lot to me. I have really grown to admire you through reading your blog. You are always honest, but the love for your children really comes through. I think I've really learned from the response I've gotten that as mothers, we're really more alike than different. We all have insecurities and faults, but we love our children and try our very best. Thank you, thank you for caring about the words I wrote, for your humor, and for the words YOU write!
ReplyDeleteLet me know if a parenting manuel ever comes with all the information needed. Then I can find out what I did right and what I did wrong. In the meantime dad said to remind you of "cheeky bottom"! Even if it wasn't you!
ReplyDeleteGUILTY! GUILTY! GUILTY! OF ALL OF IT! :)
ReplyDeleteI applaud you for your courage. It is refreshing to see. Too many people live a total lie in the name of vanity and are perfectly content to alienate friends and family by allowing them to believe the facade that we are somehow immune to the unsavory traits and frailties that all the rest of mankind are partakers of: failure, weakness, momentary lapses of reason, etc. etc. even though to do so hurts all of us. When we do everything we can to hide from each other the shared darker side of our natures, we do all of humanity a huge disservice as it only serves to perpetuate the lie that we are fundamentally different. True, we are as unique as are the elaborate intricacies which differ from snowflake to snowflake, but I challenge you to find a snowflake that is not hexagonal in fundamental construct. So there is a not-insignificant way in which all of us are alike even with all of our differences; realizing this unites instead of divides. We cannot afford to nurse the already all-too-prevalent insecurities we all have about being inadequate, awkward, different, and yet we do it almost every day in every social interaction without even giving it a second thought. We do it for the praise and esteem of our peers, but being that it happens on such an unconscious level, it is hard to hold one guilty of malicious intent. Being a survival instinct of the ego, it happens naturally when we live our lives on auto-pilot, and therefore it necessitates someone being extraordinarily conscientious to recognize and correct it. Your doing so and continuing to make the effort will make you a light shining in the darkness. Do carry on.
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