In honor of my recent attendance at the Bountiful Handcart Parade, I must get a few things off of my chest.
#1 Pathetic that they say you can put out seats at 7am and there are people there hours early "holding their spots." (OK-I admit, I have never been the one in my group to get there to set up chairs, BUT STILL...)
#2 Even if you're sitting/standing in the back, don't always yell for the parade participants to throw stuff at you. They think they can, and they gear up for a strong throw, and a Salt Water Taffy hurts my daughter when it hits her on the head! (Also hurts the little girl sitting next to us at a later time!)
#3 If candy or other objects do get thrown, don't allow your children to step IN FRONT of my seats. Pretend there is an imaginary line from the edges of your chairs/blankets forward-and DON'T ALLOW YOUR CHILDREN TO CROSS IT, BECAUSE I CERTAINLY DON'T LET MINE!
#4 Especially do not allow your child to travel 10-12 feet down the parade route and try to remove the frisbee that just LANDED ON MY FEET!!!! He will not return to you triumphant!
#5 If my kids (or me) yell for something to be thrown to us, and it happens to get thrown and my son has his hand on it, don't snatch it from him. Or you will hear from his mother-even if you are only 6 years old!
#6 DON'T HAND OUT FLYERS! Tattoos, flags, pens, etc. are fine, but I don't want your advertising. It fills up my diaper bag with too many papers, besides, haven't you heard of "environmental issues?" If I want to patronize your place of business, I will on my own.
#7 Don't put flyers on my car while I am attending the parade. Again, if I want to patronize your business.....
#8 If we politely give you some of our leftover space at the very front-tell your daughter not to spend most of the parade "eyeing" my daughter's candy stash. Remember the 'imaginary line thing.'
#9 Don't try to sell Otter Pops, when several of the parade entries are giving them away for free... It won't be very profitable for you.
#10 Also, if you are giving away Otter Pops; Thank you, but have you heard of a cooler?
#11 If you are my husband and you detest parades, but go for me, yes I do go because I enjoy it, I just wish there were a way to more fully enforce my rules.
#12 If you are in charge of this crazy, chaotic, parade. I will be the one cheering and clapping next year when you pass us by.
Boy...you must have had quite the time at the parade....make sure to yell at me if I ever step on your toes. ;) fyi: you make me laugh
ReplyDeleteI TOTALLY agree with everything you have said.....
ReplyDeleteKudos.
You are to dang funny! Sounds like a fun morning!
ReplyDeleteLOVE IT! This si so funny! Exactly why Todd and I always have the parade debate every July. I love them...Todd, not so much
ReplyDeleteTiffany, love your parade description. I quit enjoying parades a few years ago, for some of the reasons you listed. I love your fun way of telling about it. May I add you as a link on mine? It is kind of long to go through Lesley's every time...(But I love you Lesley!)Also if you want a laugh go to mine (Lesley again!) and link to the Lamblog for a fun story about Kirby Vacuum salesmen)
ReplyDeleteI had the worst experience at the parade. I will never go to the Bountiful parade again. I was a volunteer, let me change that word volunteer to....I had a church calling at the parade, I didn't really volunteer. My co-volunteer (a lady in the 6th ward) and I were bullied and harassed by a group of people including a man who practically threatened me. It was awful. I actually had a few tears (although the people didn't know it). I'm sorry to say there are people out there who know nothing of civility.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right about the parade... but we will all be there next year with our kids and thinking bad thoughts about the out of control children around us because our kids are perfect. :)
ReplyDeleteI tried to click on Cindy's blog but it appears to be a private blog.
ReplyDeleteAmen sista! Unfortunately, my kids are probably doing all of those things while I am swearig at them in the background! Love ya! :)
ReplyDeleteSend this to the Clipper!!!
ReplyDeleteDo you like how I use this to communicate? Don't worry about the canning assignment. Laurie Coons came as an extra....but it would have been more fun with you! (Not that Laurie isn't fun....Know what I mean?)
ReplyDelete