Tuesday, February 17, 2009

It's Official. I'm A Fashion Loser!

Granted-I am very pregnant. My clothes don't fit me well, I hate maternity pants (they fall down!!) so if I am staying home, I wear sweats!

But, today I saw a segment on a local television show, that made me feel like a fashion loser! It was a segment for
"Stay at home Moms who are in a fashion rut."
Don't worry! Help is on the way, they had a fashion expert to the rescue who can help you
"Pick up cheerios or change a diaper in STYLE!!"

Give me a break!

In a nutshell here are some of her musts and my verbal responses.
(No Joshua, I was talking to the TV, not to you.)

1. A boutique pair of jeans costing around $100-150
Give me a break. I have 4 kids plus a husband and myself to clothe. Does she know how many pairs of shoes and underwear that would buy? What's wrong with cheap jeans?
2. Don't sit around in just a t-shirt, wear a nice button down shirt.
Why wear a button-down shirt that probably requires ironing after each wash, if I'm staying home all day? By the end of the day, I usually have anything from snot to ketchup on what I am wearing.
3. Make sure your hair is styled each day.
I swear I saw a famous, glamorous person on the front of a magazine in the checkout line with their hair in a ponytail????
4. Sweat outfits are fine, just find some that have embellishments on them to dress them up.
Great, one more thing for my to do list; sew some sequins and diamonds on my sweatsuits!
5. Wear a skirt with leggings that way you can "still bend over to pick up those cheerios."
Who says I even pick up the cheerios on the floor??????

GIVE ME A BREAK!! It is not even noon yet today. Let me give you a run down of my day so far, and you tell me if wearing something other than black exercise pants and a white t-shirt would be more appropriate.

7:01am Wake up to my cell phone ringing from somebody asking if I am Kimberly?
7:11am Put Mike's coat in the washer that he has "hintingly" left on top of the washer.
7:15am Greeted by 2 sleepy-eyed boys, one of which does not smell good
7:17am Change a poopy diaper
7:30am Fix homemade waffles for my children
7:45am Look at the kitchen table covered with syrup and powdered sugar and think we should have had a cold cereal morning.
8:00am Pack a lunch for Luke
8:10am End the search for missing lunchbox and use a brown paper bag
8:15am Tell Ellie to please help Joshua pick up the cereal he has just scattered all over the carpet.
8:19am Yell at Megan that she is going to miss the bus and to get downstairs.
8:20am Begin task of cleaning up the kitchen table and loading and starting the dishwasher.
8:25am Switch laundry
8:30am Put Joshua & Ellie in the shower and fold laundry while they play
8:45am Get Joshua dressed. Fight with Ellie about combing her hair. She wins.
9:00am Switch laundry
9:10am Reply to an email regarding PTA
9:15am Try to read newspaper online. Ellie wants to play a game.
9:17am Play Jr Scrabble with Ellie, while trying to convince Joshua not to push his truck along the scrabble board.
9:40am Lay on the couch not feeling very well. Bribe Ellie to get Joshua a snack so he'll quit saying "nac" "nac."
10:00am Hang Mike's clean and dry coat in the coat closet.
10:00-10:35am Talk on the phone, while Joshua dumps his crackers on the floor but only after breaking them into small pieces first.
10:15am Switch some laundry
10:25am Wash snot off of living room couch
10:40am Decide to do something with the rotting bananas on the counter. Make banana bread with Ellie while Joshua pulls used paper towels out of the garbage can and wipes his face, spills water on himself, and starts the dishwasher full of clean, dry dishes.
11:00am Put bread in the oven, go and get in the shower.
11:05am Yell to Joshua to make sure he is somewhere close by and not getting into mischief.
11:10am Only 10 minutes later, emerge from the shower. Dress in above mentioned clothes, put wet hair in a ponytail.
11:12am Find Ellie just in time to tell her before she plays with play dough on her bedroom floor, that she can not only not play with the play dough she got for Valentines day from someone at school, but she will have to throw it away. Play dough is not allowed at our house.
11:14am Switch laundry
11:20am Check on-line banking, enter transactions into Quicken
11:35am Eat a slice of warm banana bread and turn on the tv, only to hear a segment that tells me I am a "Stay at home Mom who is in a fashion rut."
Stupid TV. No wonder we don't have cable, dish network or even a converter box!
12:05pm Excuse me while I go pick up the banana bread Joshua scattered on the floor, fix some lunch, fold some laundry and put a one year old down for a nap.


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