Friday, February 18, 2011

Moving a Grill

A couple of weeks ago, while Mike was in the hospital, I returned home one morning to find my barbeque grill had become the victim of the previous night's windstorm.  It was laying on the grass twenty feet from it's home on the patio.  I was talking on the phone to my friend Brandi, and as I began to lift up the barbeque, propane began spewing from the valve.  In a slight moment of panic, Brandi told me to relax, tighten the valve to stop the spewing and just leave the barbeque where it was for now.  I followed her instructions and then added, "I'll text my friend/neighbor and ask him to put the barbeque back on the patio."

Brandi's response startled me, "Oh GOOD Tiffany.  I see you are finally learning a lesson in h-u-m-i-l-i-t-y.  You're going to let somebody serve you!"

Service is an interesting thing for me.  While we are always drilling into people's minds that it is 'More blessed to give than receive', there is obviously a need to be able to receive too.  And I am slowly, but surely grasping that concept too.

The other day I remembered a lady I used to visit teach more than a decade ago.  (Within the LDS church's women's organization (Relief Society), two women form a partnership and are given 'stewardship' to watch over, care and love for three-four other women within the same church boundaries.)  She was pregnant with her first child (so no other children to care for!), and was placed on bed rest.  She requested from the Relief Society President that in addition to having dinners brought into her, she would like breakfast and lunch brought in AND have someone sit with her so she didn't get bored!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fortunately, our Relief Society president was not a people-pleaser.  She told the pregnant lady that she would have dinners brought in, but the rest was up to whatever her friends/neighbors/family WANTED to do, nothing would be specifically assigned.  The Relief Society President even suggested to me that I not take more than two meals to her.

Seriously-I have NEVER forgotten that lady.  No offense, but who asks for that kind of service?
Obviously not me.

As I remember that pregnant lady, who moved from the neighborhood shortly after giving birth, I am well aware that she was an extreme case of 'neediness'.  But really, there is a possibility that people are too extreme in their 'independence.'   I think I fall somewhere in the middle; I like to think I am independent.  I try to steer clear of being considered a 'project'.  And I am fully aware that there are people with far greater needs than my own.

Yet certainly, for me during the last couple of weeks, the meals, child-care, phone-calls, texts, hugs, etc. have really meant something.

And it isn't the 'Call me if you need something' people it is the:

"Bring your boys over at 10am." or "Here is a meal, put it in your freezer." or "I'm bringing dinner on Tuesday." or "Go home and be with your family, we'll take care of this."  or "Here's dinner, hope you enjoy it." or "Here's a dessert, you deserve it."

I am finally learning the importance of  receiving service, which I am beginning  to believe is every bit as important as giving service.

I am trying to replace my initial reaction that always wants to say, "You don't need to." with "Thank you. You are very kind."

And, I am going to take the advice of my drugged up husband who said one day while in the hospital,

"Who are you to deny them the blessings of service?"

Drugs or not.
Mike was right.

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