Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Drew's Off and Away

After much deliberation last spring, I opted to send Drew to preschool this fall. Last Wednesday was his first day. I've waited for this day for almost 14 years--the day when all of my children would be occupied at school for some amount of time....

As Drew walked into school on his first day, he ran 6 feet ahead of me. I couldn't for the life of me get him to slow down and walk by my side, let alone hold my hand. It caused all sorts of mixed feelings as I turned around and saw him not even look up at me as I did my best to get his attention as I waved goodbye. I kept my sunglasses on, despite being in the shade, to cover my eyes. Not because I was embarrassed for anyone else to see my tears, but because it felt like too private of a moment. I didn't want anyone intruding on such a personal occasion.

I felt as though I had climbed to the peak of a mountain. I felt as though I had arrived at some sought after destination, only to be reminded that really I'd only made it to a small plateau, and I still have several mountains to scale. But that's ok--I'm getting stronger at the climb every day.

As I turned and looked at Drew one last time, knowing I had stiff competition with the play-dough already being molded in his little hand, I waved one last time, blowing a kiss that went no further than the sliding glass door.

I returned to the car alone. Essentially, alone for the first time in almost 14 years.

Today I took my baby to preschool. It's a day that will be etched into my heart forever.


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