Wednesday, May 8, 2013

A Disagreement

Mike and I are for the most part, on the same page with parenting. Of course we certainly have our disagreements over privileges, discipline, systems, etc. But really, more often than not, as far as parenting decisions go we agree with each other.

Except for the past 6 weeks or so, we've been in a little of a disagreement about one particular thing. Actually, I think Mike vacillated between "yes" and "no." I, on the other hand, never changed my original answer, "NO!!!!"

"The question" that was in question?

"Can I get another goat?"

Last year, when Luke got Lily, we knew 2 goats would be it. Luke was content, Mike and I were content, and all seemed well. Except of course, Lily didn't make it through the winter. Following Lily's death, Mike and I were very mindful that with spring and "goat-birth season" arriving, the question would certainly arise, "Can I get another goat?"

Now. I must explain Luke's grief over Lily is still very tender, raw and real. If he could, he would never get another animal if only Lily could come back. Of course she can't. Luke is convinced that Hank has never acted the same since that dreadful January day, and as much as Luke wants another goat, his convincing arguments are most often for Hank.

I said no. My mother heart doesn't want another baby animal and I certainly don't want to go through another winter with a baby goat. Hank is strong and healthy, and I don't worry about him. (Not that I ever worried about any of these *darn* goats until January!)

Mike knew my answer was no. Luke pretty much did too, as I always answered his questions with, "That's Dad's department."

Last week Mike was teetering very close to my side, and said to Luke, "I think for now your time, money and energy is best spent on the animals you already have." I was feeling very triumphant, until I saw Luke's face as he left our bedroom. I knew that another wave of grief was about to hit.

It did, and it wasn't pretty. It was downright heartbreaking. Both Mike and I had to hold back our own tears as Luke laid in our bed crying about missing Lily.

I knew I was dangerously at risk of losing my arguments, but I kept quiet and let Mike handle this wave of grief, with the exception of briefly chiming in, and helping Luke understand that another goat wouldn't make all his sadness go away.

Despite the heartbreaking grief, for a myriad of reasons, a few days later my answer was still a pretty firm "no." Mike on the other hand still kept wavering.

Saturday afternoon, I was busy at a Power of Moms event in Park City. Between my own responsibilities there, and my desire to listen to others, I was pretty occupied and in my own zone. And then I noticed I had a text message on my phone.

There were no words. Just this picture.

Luke won.
I lost.
And depending on who you ask, Mike is a hero or a villain.

Meet Dudley.
The latest addition to our lives.


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