Sunday, May 19, 2013

Judging Less, Loving More

Recently, one of my children was involved in an unfortunate exchange with an adult. As a parent, I was shocked and disgusted at the event, as was my child. Although the person later apologized for "misunderstanding the situation", there was no apology for more specifics as I would have liked.

(I am purposefully being vague about this particular situation. The specifics do not need to be shared publicly.)

I only shared the situation with one friend, knowing I could trust her completely, and hoping for a little advice. Although this particular friend has scaled much greater mountains of compassion and forgiveness than this little (somewhat) insignificant situation I found myself in, she validated my feelings.

As the days passed, I felt myself feeling more and more irritated that this event happened, and that an adult would act in such a way. It isn't that it necessarily surprised me that this particular adult would be capable of such an exchange, but that it would happen with one of my children is what bother (s) (ed) me most.

I found myself disappointed in myself that I would even temporarily hold a grudge, and kept doubting my ability to be cordial to this person when a future (inevitable) interaction happens.

My focus this last week has been on "forgetting" the incident and feeling no ill-will towards the person involved. I find it no coincidence that on Sunday morning a dear friend shared with me specifically, a video. Knowing nothing about my previous week, but recalling a conversation from months before, this friend believed I would appreciate the video. I'll take it one step further, I think this friend was inspired to send me the video. (Thank you, Michelle!)

As I watched the short video I found myself imagining the specific "descriptions" applying to the adult in the questionable exchange with my child. With tears in my eyes, I was humbly reminded, that it is not for me to judge another person's actions. And though a child of mine was clearly wronged, what a lesson for me (and Mike) and one of our children to (re) learn--we have no idea what was going on in that person's life that day.

Instead of holding a grudge or being irritated, my job is to judge less and love more.

I shared my experience and the video with my little family this afternoon. Now I'm sharing it with you.

(This video was put together by a hospital in Cleveland. Believe me, it is well worth 4 minutes of your time to watch.)


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