Friday, July 2, 2010

Having and Being Friends

Remember the time in your life when it really mattered who your friends were?   Clothes, hair, social status, etc. all seemed to matter. Really, honestly, didn't you sometimes pick your friends based on the outside?
Now I don't mean we're all superficial, but in all reality friends are often very similar.  Similar fashion ideas, similar hobbies, similar ages, etc.  Whether you really choose to admit it or not, often times the first, quick judgment we have to make about somebody is based on physical appearance. 

I am so grateful and feel so blessed to have reached the point in my life where so many of those things don't matter.  Among my dearest friends, I have a couple who are 15-20 years older than me, I have a few who are 8-10 years younger.

 (Drew and his first little friend, Miles-one of them is always crying over Miles' toy car)

Sunday night I thought of this more deeply.
You see.  Mike and I have some dear friends we love to hang out with.  From outside appearances they are opposite from us in many ways.
They are ten years younger.
They have one child, we have five.
Their first child and our fifth child are only days apart.  Sometimes their baby, dressed as a first often is, puts my fifth's wardrobe choices and personal hygiene to shame
They have great physically fit bodies.

Their clothes are stylish, fashionable and I'm sure they own no clothing from Walmart.
You'd be hard pressed to find dirty toilets or a cluttery closet in their house.
When we got in their car the other evening, they did not have to clear off debris and food from the seats before we could sit down.

You get the picture...
As we frequently do, we spent a summer evening out visiting with them on their driveway the other night.  The time passed quickly, the sun went down, the mosquitos came out, neighbor's houses went dark, the temple lights up on the hill turned dim, we even watched the moon rise over the mountain.  It was a splendid evening.

I couldn't help but feel blessed that at some point, adults reach a point in life where we realize what really matters in a friendship.  (Sure, age is a legitimate factor in younger years, as really, a 15 year old really wouldn't want to be hanging out with a 25 year old.)  But what  a blessing that we let go of the other 'differences' that seem so important at other times.  I love these friends.  Over time, long talks on the driveways, late night card games, and an occasional meal together have turned into a friendship we value greatly. 

And so on Sunday night, when at 10:00PM they give Mike a steak from their fridge and wheeled their BBQ to the front driveway to curb Mike's 'meat craving' I realized how much I truly do love these 'oh so different from outside appearances' friends.  Because deep down, we're all very similar,
We laugh.
We cry.
We speculate.
We confide.
We listen.
We care.
We value.
We love.
Because really, isn't that what friendship is all about?


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