Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Someone Made A Mistake

I'm not sure when or how, but at some point in the past eight years or so, I reached a satisfaction with my body. Sure, I know I could be thinner, in better shape, have better hair, etc. etc. But I have children and other pursuits, and at the end of the day, I take deep satisfaction in the fact that I am a mother. When I consider the time, effort and energy motherhood takes, the rest seems quite insignificant. I believe acceptance and satisfaction is a HUGE part of happiness.

With all that said though, I have one BIG complaint about my body.
Why in the world did the creator of us all, only give women, TWO ARMS?  I can't understand why we get so many things added to our bodies after giving life to children (I'll spare you the details, because you know all too well the things I am talking about!) that why doesn't the birth of a baby produce extra arms instead of stretch marks and extra skin that really serve no purpose. Some extra arms (with different lengths) could really be put to use.

Think breakfast-
One arm could be pouring juice, one arm could be making the sandwich for home lunch, one arm could be signing the forgotten paper that was due YESTERDAY, one arm could be flipping the egg, one arm could be brushing hair and the other arm could be wiping up smeared applesauce...
Think lunch-
One arm could be answering a phone call, one arm could be pouring a drink, one arm could be holding a book to read, one arm could be stirring the macoroni, and one arm can be retrieving silverware from the garbage can...
Think after school-
One arm could be signing the completed homework sheet, one arm could be getting the after school snack, one arm could be getting meat out of the freezer to thaw, one arm could be comforting the toddler who just got pushed out of the way, one arm could be helping a practicing child hit the right notes on the piano...
Think dinner-
One arm could wipe the tears of the child who does not like the menu choice, one arm could stir the soup, one arm could answer the phone, one arm could spank help the child who is still sitting in front of an empty homework paper, one arm could clear off the table so we can sit at it to eat...
Think bedtime-
One arm could hug one child, one arm could hold the book while reading to another, one arm could pick up dirty clothes, one arm could turn off a light, one arm could pull down the bedspread and one arm can rub my tired eyes...

But alas, I have only two arms.
And it is NOWHERE near enough.
So someone and somethings will have to wait.

Now please excuse me, as I can't type, hold a child, pour a drink, wipe a nose and remove the twelve year old's toothbrush from the one year old's mouth all at the same time.

In the next life?
Forget a tall and slender body, forget great hair, forget ...
I want to be an OCTOPUS


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