Thursday, March 24, 2011

Poo at the Junior High

Yesterday I had a meeting with our school principal.  (Don't be alarmed, it was PTA stuff, not 'my children' type stuff.)  Having spent the last couple of years working closely with our principal, I have gotten to know her quite well.  I always thoroughly enjoy our visits and have enjoyed getting to know her better, both personally and professionally.

As our meeting was wrapping up yesterday, she was lamenting some of the serious upcoming tasks she has ahead of her.  Then in a sincere tone she said (along the lines), "I never set out to be a professional.  I always wanted  to be a Mama and have a few kids.  But here I am, a professional."

Friendly, I quipped back, "And some of us are mama's, wishing at times we were A Professional."

We had a quick little dialogue and I said, "In fact, let me tell you, exactly how un-professional I am."

And we both had a good laugh, as I launched into the following experience, that really shouldn't go without being permanently recorded!

A couple of weeks ago, we were finishing up dinner. I was slightly rushed as I had a meeting I was soon due at, at the local junior high to discuss next year's honors program.  Drew, dressed only in a onesie and diaper, had a little explosion, and so I carried him 'carefully' to be changed.  I finished the whole diaper episode, and as I finished up my dinner, I could still smell poo, so I re-washed my hands.

I finished my dinner, grabbed my purse, checked my teeth/hair, etc. you know all the stuff you check before you walk out the door, and went on my way.

As I was driving, I thought, 'Man, I can still smell that poo.  It must have been a really potent poopy diaper, to still have the smell lingering in my nose.'

I walked into the junior high, took my seat and began listening to the principal.  I still felt like I could smell poo, and by this time wondered if perhaps I had stepped in some dog poo or something, somewhere along the way.   Upon checking, my shoes proved clean.

And then it happened.

The voices discussing 'self motivated students' and 'more accelerated pace' and 'college not too far in the future' completely faded in the background.  I had my focus on one thing.  And one thing only.
There, on my left thigh was a good four-five inch area of POO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here I am, trying to establish my footing as a soon-to-be-junior-high-parent, and the stark realization hits that I still have a toddler.  And I have POO. ON. MY. LEG. FOR. EVERYONE. TO SEE!!!!!!

I saw lots of familiar faces at the meeting, but as soon as the 'Thanks for coming' was said, I bee-lined for the door. I needed to get home.

In the parking lot, I called Mike and by this time I was laughing hysterically, and he too, couldn't stop the laughter.

As soon, as I arrived home, I went to find Mike.  Still laughing, I presented my poo-ey leg to him for viewing.  Mike's laughter increased, and he laid there aghast, pointing and laughing and exclaimed, "It's all over your jacket pocket too."

Sure enough, all over my left jacket pocket, in addition to my thigh, was POO!

At this point, Megan walked in to see what all the ruckus was about.
Bless her little, soon-to-be-junior-high-heart.
Her face was mortified. MORTIFIED! Her mother had just paraded around her prospective school wearing poo, POO!! all over her clothes!!!!

I learned a few things that day:
#1-I need to do more than just a teeth, hair, make-up, etc. check when I walk out the door.

#2-In the twelve and a half years (straight!) of changing diapers, I should know better that the smell of a stinky diaper does not linger 'in the air' when you are no longer in the same room.  Still smelling poo after changing rooms, being in the car, and then in a school gymnasium  should have been clear indication enough that something was awry.

#3-I am a mom.  Enough said.


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